Many of us are under the impression that future innovations would make our lives as women simpler; maybe even easier. Raise your hand if you think your life is simpler than your mother’s. How are we supposed to raise our kids, find meaning in our work, and live happy, fulfilled lives? How do we take ownership of our lives? These are some of the questions addressed at the Mom Corps “Own Your Life” event in Charlotte, NC. In these presentations, some of the key ideas discussed were change, balance, authenticity, accountability, alignment, courage, and connection.
What does this all mean? If you are like me, this all sounds great, but I am so busy in the circus of my life that I am at a loss as to how to incorporate these concepts into my daily routine and find balance and happiness.
Dr. Kathleen Hall, founder and director of the Stress Institute and author of a Life in Balance and Alter Your Life, pointed out that change is in the air whether it’s politics, science, or the environment. Accordingly, we too must change the way we live. Ironically, the greatest threat to our lives is our very own lifestyle. Many of us live in the midst of stress and depression without mindfulness. We need to re-program our brains to eliminate unhealthy stress and to follow a path of happiness.
We need self-awareness in order to own our lives! According to Dr. Hall, this can be done only through discipline. We need to stop feeling guilty, eliminate the “buts” and excuses from our lives, and live purposefully and with compassion. Through self-awareness and discipline we are able to change the neuro-pathways in our brains that cause us stress thereby teaching our brains to follow a path of happiness. This odyssey to find happiness should include S.E.L.F.-care—serenity (found through breathing, positive affirmations, guided imagery and gratitude), exercise, love and certain foods (including broccoli, green tea, protein and blueberries, just to name a few).
Karen Glatzer, the panel moderator and founder and CEO of GH Consulting and Portable Wisdom, focused on living intentionally through the five pillars of wisdom—authenticity, accountability, alignment, courage and connection. Two main concerns expressed by moms in the audience were the difficulty in finding a balance between family, work and errands and learning all of the technological advancements. Ms. Glatzer advised that a good network of moms and Mom Corps would certainly offer remedies to these concerns.
Ann Crittenden, author of a number of books and publications including If You’ve Raised Kids, You Can Manage Anything and The Price of Motherhood, addressed the fears of many attendees by discussing the many synergies between the workplace and raising a family. According to Ms. Crittenden, certain skills cross over from family life into the corporate world: Multi-tasking, inter-personal skills, the art of negotiation, and the ability to motivate and inspire, just to name a few. If you are feeling threatened by younger people in the workforce, do not lose sight of the many invaluable skills that you have acquired in the process of raising kids, some of which include: the art of listening and focusing while drowning in frustration, addressing the “irrational no”, negotiating fairness and sharing, prioritizing and being organized in the midst of total chaos, letting people make mistakes and reinforcing peoples’ strengths.
Ms. Crittenden correctly pointed out that while our society recognizes women’s rights, we do not yet fully recognize our strengths. It is indeed a sad state of affairs that we live in a world where the raising of our children is arguably the most important thing we may accomplish, yet it is has not earned the respect that it deserves.
In summary, how do we find happiness? Slow down, be present, live with intention, practice S.E.L.F.-care, and know that our role as mothers has prepared us to face anything. It is only through facing our fears that we find the courage to live.