How to Bust a Workplace Bully
At my last position in Corporate America, I was on the receiving end of a bully executive who was well entrenched with our CEO. This duplicitous “mean girl,” ironically a movie she always cited, victimized many with her vicious rumor-spreading, mockery, and verbal intimidation. With me, her point of attack was almost always aimed at my solo status. A salary increase was denied due to my “stylish wardrobe,” which she felt was lavishly excessive, so too was an office of my own and several bonus hikes, which my married peers with lesser degrees and profit margins all received.
Bella Depaulo, author of Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored and Still Live Happily Ever After, sees individuals who are targets of discrimination as victims of “singlism.” Almost every organization has a corporate bully, but individuals, especially the most accomplished and successful, are increasingly being mistreated by their superiors and peers in the workplace. According to the research we at SingleEdition uncovered, bullies tend to be fueled by envy and resentment, which is typically brought out by high performing, well-liked employees who possess strong values and integrity.
So what can those who are being bullied do?
1. Realize it is not your fault. Like most bullies, mine was ridiculing me to destroy my self confidence and to make other employees disrespect me. For a long time I convinced myself that I was being too sensitive. Once I recognized the behavior for what it was, I was able to relinquish all self-blame and stopped questioning my professional conduct (and wardrobe.)
2. Confide in trusted co-worker(s). Keeping quiet about a bully’s behavior only makes it worse. After confiding in a few trusted co-workers, it became evident that I was not this mean girl’s sole victim. Turned out she was antagonizing many of the unmarried high-achieving women in the office. While we never pursued a formal complaint, we had enough evidence as a collective group to pursue legal redress.
3. Make sure to keep a record. Lucky for me, a friend of mine who is an attorney instructed me to keep detailed notes. I logged everything in an electronic file at work and backed it up on my home computer, including a list of individuals who were witness to those events.
