We have two small children, they are taking a nap
And two barking dogs—much bigger than your lap
The doorbell is disabled, I won’t answer your knock
So please take your sales pitch and head down the block
This is our plea, won’t you take heed?
Whatever your service, it’s not what we need
We don’t need a housekeeper, we are fond of our mess
I don’t want to take your vacuum for a test
The guys come on Saturday to cut our grass
So take your trailer of mulch and please drag your … As
For insurance, our agent is great, I don’t need a quote
And we don’t shop for rates
Yes, we have an alarm, yes its monitored all day
Do you really think we got that sign on eBay
And everyone’s favorite, I won’t be forgettin’
Your trying to save us, its coming—Armageddon
We are Christians at peace, we don’t need to be saved
Please don’t leave the pamphlets, its not garbage day
And don’t leave your menus nor your business card
The last thing I need is trash blowing in my yard
I do NOT need a phonebook, its 2009
Speaking of which, telecom guy, our internet works fine.
Don’t need my car washed, not donating for your mission
Keep moving Handyman, my husbands an Electrician
So please don’t think us rude that we don’t want your stuff
But everyday you are here—ENOUGH IS ENOUGH
So thanks for your time and have a nice day
NO SOLICITING—got it? Now GO AWAY
