I’ll Take “Metaphorically Academia” for 300

Yes, I am one of those people who swim daily among the metaphors in life and revel in them. Because I find myself often in the world of academia, I cannot help but indulge in these little playthings called metaphors and create some myself. I am drawn to metaphors and use them like paint on a canvas. Here is a sample of metaphors related to school:

While in school, I was that salmon swimming upstream, an adult returning to college at times overwhelmed by the current of knowledge, yet was resolute that the death of ignorance lay before me. Psychology savagely dissected my thoughts with the intensity of a forensic scientist raping secrets better left covered with a cloak of invisibility. The dust flew from the history before me revealing sad stories often thought best swept away by the scrubbing hands deconstructionism. In biology, sweet smell of flower and blade, unfolding earth’s bounty and bliss, births and holds within us the science that describes this. 

Clear and yet unclear, philosophy will be the murky window we peer though offering us hints and glinting moments of clarity but rarely a perfect picture. There we explore indwelling human sexuality norms create our base instinct to admire the wonderful colors and emotions found in the painting on the wall, yet never discuss it. Then blasting from the tomes of literary canon, great and mighty words flew past me giving new meaning to the power of the pen. Ultimately while devoid of the logical of order operations, I was unable to unveil the mystery of mathematics and find the keys to the door of enlightenment. 

I enjoy metaphors, so much so that I play with them. Please indulge me here as I take you on a journey to graduation in metaphors.

My greatest resolve was that goal, the adventure which may simply prove to be the end of my life as I now know it. Carrying the weight of the great tomes of knowledge, drudging through the sciences and enduring the musty dank history from which we sprang from, I was then faced with both biology and forensics which by nature pick our very beings apart, examining our inner most thoughts to expand them to be as vast as the stars in the sky. 

The perception of a limited brain is that mind beyond the walls we create to categorize and define this magnificent and glorious plan to obtain a complete knowledge of each subject. The light at the end of the academic tunnel may blind us as much as it enlightened us. Can our great gain, the coveted prize contained and demonstrated with flourish and decoration, merely upon the front of a single piece of paper truly define us? That hefty paper will hold the keys of proof that we have gained far more than what can possibly be defined on a biodegradable and flimsy piece of paper.

That knowledge powerful and endless bursts open doors of possibility and celebrates hope for a continued journey rather than an announcement of the timely death of our ignorance. This river of knowledge I did not travel alone, but alongside my fellow fishers of knowledge to gorge and wallow in the pools of refreshing ideas. We came, fed, digested and regurgitated knowledge and now celebrate our gluttony with that huge and weighty burden between our shoulders. Now big-headed, wobbly intellectuals are certifiably known as the latest graduating class of slimy degree-holding puffer fishes, proudly puffed up with the success of our goal.

Do we know what predator is lurking behind our fabulously engorged degree? I predict it to be the fiendish student loan sharks ready to attack that first illustrious paycheck we look forward to and anticipate with our very own great appetite.

I admit freely that I love to cram as many metaphors as possible into some things. It is a challenge I take to like some people take to crossword puzzles. See … I can’t help myself. Can you count how many metaphors I used in this little article? I challenge you to find them all! Heck ... toss me some metaphors of your own!

5 readers liked this story.
From Around the Web:
07.17.2009
Cheekyredhead
Well I am both a novice and an expert of nothing...I admit I do not "know-it-all" but I love to learn new things!!
07.16.2009
Shalagh Hogan
I too come from a long line of know it alls. My Dad an acedemic and my Mom a wanna be, I was spawned to believe to be considered real, you needed an edu-ma-ca-tion. And yet all I ever wanted to do was just be OK being me and become a writer. So... like ...good on you with all of it going on. Love the metaphormania and the pursuit of know-it-all-ness. (From another CRH.)
It feels good to write.

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