I could have killed him. My fiancé went ahead, without asking me, and gave away our Xbox. His reasoning was that now the newer Xbox 360 console is out, he’ll buy that. But since we have a wedding coming up and have just moved to a new city, I can’t see dropping $400 on a game console anytime soon. And I miss my games.
I am part of the 38 percent of women who play video games. Various surveys report that even fewer women play “serious” games—referring to fighting, shooter, sports, or action/adventure games, played on consoles or interactively online—rather than lunch-break games like “Tetris” or “Bejeweled,” which are played on PCs or cell phones. (Personally, I play both.)
There’s much debate about why women and girls play fewer games than men and boys. Often-mentioned reasons include violence and sexist portrayals of women. Yes, I find some of the violence to be over the top. Yes, seeing more female characters whose body types are suited to the stunts they’re doing would be nice. (If she’s going to kick ass, at least give her some muscles and put her in a sports bra—I mean, ouch!)
But I can handle the violence in most games, and while the ninjas-in-bikinis thing is off-putting, it doesn’t completely detract from the game for me, unless there’s unnecessary parading around and boob-jiggling. Also, lots of games nowadays have heroines who are fairly covered up and, in the vein of Lara Croft (who got a breast reduction to a C cup in 2005), not sexy to the point of ridiculousness.
The most compelling reason I’ve heard as to why more females don’t play games is that it’s perceived to be a guy thing—a dorky, chauvinistic guy thing. The stereotypical image of a gamer is either an awkward pre-teen who has no chance of getting it on with a real human girl, and so fantasizes about losing his virginity to an anime character; a beer-guzzling frat boy who high-fives his buddies after getting laid; or a deadbeat husband who zones out from married and/or family life in favor of playing Doom (complete with naggish wife giving him the evil eye).
What girl wants to join these groups?
It doesn’t help that the image of a girl gamer is a not-so-feminine gal who emulates male gamers by wearing grungy T-shirts, calling her friends “dude,” and belching with the best of them. Granted, I’ve been known to do two of three, but why should women feel they have to act like men to play games? Can’t we just be ourselves and enjoy games?
Part of what I like about video games is that guys don’t expect me to enjoy them or be good at them, and it’s fun to bust stereotypes. But I don’t feel any pressure to prove myself as a serious gamer by seeking out the most hardcore games or acting like a teenage boy while doing it.
Like me, the other gaming women I know play the “serious” games, but we don’t take them seriously. We don’t log onto the Internet for five-hour “World of Warcraft” marathons or scour the Internet for cheats to get past the thirteenth level of “Tomb Raider.” More often than not, I play over sushi and a glass of wine. The concept of “serious” gaming is a little suspect to me. Games are, well, games. They’re supposed to be fun. They are a release, a form of relaxation.
When game companies do gear games toward girls and women, the results can be laughable. So-called “pink” games like “Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses” or “Desperate Housewives, The Game” are so stereotypical, even a seven-year-old girl would roll her eyes. Is anyone using their brains over at those game-design companies? Plenty of women and girls play board games. Do we only play ones that have to do with shopping for purses, whispering about hot guys, and being BFFs?
My desire for better games for women is really a desire for better video games for everyone. We ladies are not wowed simply by T & A and awesome explosions. Game designers have to work a little harder to make challenging and engaging games that have some kind of plot. Games like this—that are just plain good—attract men and women alike. Once game companies start recognizing this, and promoting play for girls and women because they’ll actually enjoy it—not just to prove a point in a man’s world—gaming might become more appealing to female newcomers.
I look forward to better games for all and a better gaming environment for women. It will happen—we’re a huge untapped market. But for now I’m content with being a casual player. Who needs to be serious when I just destroyed my twelve-year-old cousin at “DOA”? (And I did it playing like a girl.)




