Marriage is simply about the love and devotion between two people, right? Not exactly. When a couple gets hitched, they agree to bind themselves not only to each other, but also to the state granting them the marriage license. In reality, for all the parties involved in a marriage to be represented, the state’s governor, legislative bodies, and judiciary would have to join the bride and groom at the altar, since state governments can dictate what goes on between two newlyweds—even though some of the rules they’ve come up with are odd, outdated, or downright offensive.
Alabama: Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men. Also, incest is legal.
Arkansas: A man may legally beat his wife, as long as it happens no more frequently than once a month. Spousal abuse is also permissible in West Virginia, as long as the beating takes place in public on Sunday on the courthouse steps. It’s okay in Alabama, too, as long as the man uses a stick no larger in diameter than his thumb.
California: The rules get a little more complicated here. A man can beat his wife with a leather belt or strap, but the belt can’t be wider than two inches, unless the man has his wife’s consent to beat her with a wider strap.
Also in California, a husband who suffers from allergies can have his wife jailed if she doesn’t cook her dustcloth after using it.
Colorado: No one may throw shoes at the bride and groom at a wedding.
Connecticut: If a man wants to kiss his wife on Sundays (which is illegal in this state), he has to move to Maryland, where doing so is permissible—but only for one second.
Delaware: Getting married on a dare is grounds for annulment.
Florida: A woman who’s angry with her husband may break no more than three dishes per day.
Kentucky: A woman may not remarry the same man four times, nor may she buy a hat if her husband has not tried it on first.
Michigan: A woman’s hair and clothing belong to her husband. If a man sees that his wife is leaving him, he may follow her into the street and reclaim his property by shearing and denuding her.
