Here in America, we do everything bigger. Our skyscrapers are taller, our toilets have more-powerful flushes, and even our beauty queens are prettier than those from the rest of the world. We like our reputation as the home of the biggest, the best, the grandest, the fanciest, and the most luxurious.
Except that commitment leads to some pretty embarrassing displays of excess. We Americans are used to a level of abundance that many in the world would gawk at; in fact, it can be downright embarrassing. Other countries and other cultures have their vomitoriums, desert ski resorts, and the Taj Mahal, but when the rest of the world talks about America as the original land of outrageous, inexcusable, and stomach-churning gluttony, this is what they’re thinking of.
Man v. Food
In this television show for the Travel Channel, Richman tours the country, looking for the biggest, most fattening, most heart attack–inducing plates of food. And then he eats them. Or he tries to, anyway. Seriously—that’s the whole premise: how much food can Adam Richman stuff into his gullet? In a world where 1.7 billion people live in poverty, this show could only be the product of a country airing no fewer than eight weight-loss reality shows on television as of December 2010. In other words, screw you, poor people!
The $5 Million Bra
Apparently, diamonds aren’t quite as rare as we’re made to believe, because each year, Victoria’s Secret uses several pounds of gemstones to create a special Fantasy Bra for the holidays. The 2010 model features 1,500 carats of black diamonds and rubies costing a total of $5 million. As extravagant as that may seem, it doesn’t hold a candle to the $7 million bra from 2006 or the $12.5 million 2005 version. Although the company acknowledges that no one has ever actually purchased one of these brassieres, that doesn’t stop it from making them. Apparently, Americans are so desensitized to seeing boobs on parade that now the only bosoms that warrant attention are spangled ones.
“Noisy” Sun Chips
In 2010, Frito-Lay developed a plant-based compostable package for its SunChips line of snacks. Good green news, right? Wrong. Sales of the chips plummeted because consumers—the same ones who flaunt their eco-friendly shopping totes and refuse to consume high-fructose corn syrup—refused to buy them. The reason? The bag made too much noise. Yes, a little extra crinkle and crunch offended Americans’ delicate aural sensibilities, forcing the manufacturer to go back to the original landfill-clogging bag. The biodegradable packaging is still available in Canada, however, since Canadians somehow believed that a little extra noise was worth it to help the environment. Go figure.
