As I was flipping through the TV channels at 3 a.m, I saw it! Yes, I didn’t believe it was possible but there it was staring me in the face. At first, I thought it was the brandy that I drank a few hours before coming back to haunt me, but no, it was real. Finally, there is a new product that will bring the Snuggie to its knees.
Yes, in an effort to outdo and update the Snuggie, the blanket with sleeves that millions of suckers bought and thought was just grand, some inventor has come up with a Snuggie that you step into. And while this TV commercial goes on about the revolutionary design of this new product, I had to think to myself (again, it could have been the brandy): Isn’t this just adult feetie pajamas minus the feeties?
If you have not seen it yet, the zip-up loungewear or the Forever Lazy will be coming to your late-night and Sunday TV airwaves soon. This “new” cuddly outfit boasts a thick fuzzy, coat—or the technical term—polar fleece. You step into it and zip it up, and you will be warm and toasty throughout all activities, and you don’t even have to unzip and step out of it when nature beckons. No, the Forever Lazy comes with “zippered hatches in front and back, for great escapes when duty calls.”
That is the best copywriting I have ever seen. Have we become that lazy a society that we can’t pull down our pants to use the potty anymore? The other advantage that this product has over the Snuggie is its claim that you can wear it anywhere. Yes, you can wear it to picnics, camping, and my absolute favorite—tailgating because nothing goes better in the stadium parking lot port-o-potties than a fleece suit with a flap in the back for when you need to squat.
I know I am being harsh and close minded about this product, especially when the commercials show this party of about ten adults, all donned in their Forever Lazy attire, having fun singing and dancing at a tailgate. When I see this commercial, I think: First, I am willing to bet these people were never the cool kids in high school. Secondly, I live in Philly. I can’t imagine the abuse I would take if I went tailgating to an Eagles’ game in adult pajamas with a back flap. It wouldn’t matter which of the three attractive Forever Lazy colors I chose, I would still get beaten up.
