5. Picking a Specific Year Is Never a Good Idea: 1890
Joseph Smith—a.k.a the founder of the Mormon Church—reported hearing a voice while praying. He wrote, “I was once praying very earnestly to know the time of the coming of the Son of Man, when I heard a voice repeat the following: ‘If thou livest until thou art eighty-five years old, thou shalt see the face of the Son of Man.’” He would have hit eighty-five in 1890. Not only was there no second coming that year, but he’d also been dead for nearly twenty-five years at that point. Some claim there was ambiguity in his prophecy that accounts for this slight road bump in the prediction—it could mean that Jesus would return in 1890 (which he did not), or maybe it meant that 1890 would pass without the return of Jesus. If seeing the face of the son of man means not seeing his face, then, yes, this prophecy has come true. Maybe I should start making prophesies like this.
On April 25, 1982, Londoners drinking their morning cup of coffee opened up their newspapers to come face to face with a rather disturbing headline: “The Christ Is Now Here!” It topped an article describing that Christ had already returned to Earth in 1977 and had been living among a group of Pakistani immigrants in South London. Fortunately, for all of us sinners not quite prepared for Judgment Day, it turned out just to be a series of full-page ads that were placed by a local religious group. Whew.
7. Tenth Time’s a Charm? 1984
Jehovah’s Witnesses have been in on the second coming predictions, too, which they say derive from the Book of Daniel. The most recent one hypothesized that life as we know it would come to an end in 1984. However, they said the same thing about 1874, 1878, 1881, 1910, 1914, 1918, 1925, and 1975. Not to be found wrong again, the Jesus of Burien (nee William E. Peterson) went with it anyway, stating that Armageddon did come on this day and that Christ returned and is already well into his reign. Talk about anticlimactic.
8. Said Pope Leo IX: 2014
In 1514 this beacon of the Catholic Church wrote, “I will not see the end of the world, nor will you my brethren, for its time is long in the future”—wait for it—“500 years hence.” Another specific prediction?! This one leaves us at the year 2014 (add 500 to 1514). For some reason, followers have made guesses as to where this prophesy might come to fruition, including Niagara Falls, where the base will turn into a lake of fire. Look out New York.
Throughout history, a select few have tried to divine when the end is coming. But it seems we’ve moved beyond just a select few worrying about the end; a Pew Research Center poll found that most regular Americans have a dire outlook on our future. More than a third believe that the U.S. will be involved in a nuclear war during the next fifty years; 56 percent think overpopulation will be a major problem and cause a strain on food and resources; and about the same number think there will be an epidemic worse than AIDS in that period. Almost two-thirds think there will probably be a major terrorist attack on this country involving biological or chemical weapons. Still, 70 percent say they’re hopeful about life this century thanks to their faith in science, technology, medicine, and higher education. How could they be so optimistic amid such dire predictions? Maybe they’ve already read these predictions and remember how they ended ... or didn’t.
