Remember the song “Voices Carry” by ’Til Tuesday? When I was a kid, I had the lyrics wrong to this song (and many, many others). I thought it was “Hush hush, keep it down now, this is scary!”
And that, my friends, is precisely the lyric and tune which came into my head when I saw this mask.
Here’s the good news: This mask is an excellent choice for Halloween parties where it’s okay if you can’t really see. On the other hand, showing up to a Halloween party with a costume you can’t see out of is really sort of selfish—you can’t see anybody else’s costume. You have made it all about you. You are a jerkstore, and should probably go to the Jerk Center.
As if this mask wasn’t creepy enough, it is listed as a “Discreet Eye Mask for Secret Parties.” WTF? Like Eyes Wide Shut parties? No one would be able to tell if your eyes were wide shut or not ... is that a bonus? And also, how do you make your eyes go “wide shut?” I’m trying right now. I’m not sure if I’ve got it.
Okay, so it’s a fetish mask. Fine. What you do on your Friday nights is none of my business, but this is right out there with the Jimmy Choos and the Unicorn Costume! Somebody ought to put a warning on this stuff. Nightmares.
Available for the suggestive starting bid of $19.69. Somebody hold me. Sing along now, “This is scary!”
I also want to add an answer to this question, quoted from the listing:
Q: “So let me ask you—is there anything more I can do, to make you feel even more comforatable with your decision to buy?”
A: Yes. Spellcheck and like five stiff drinks. WTF.
Photo by sexperience_quality_jl@ebay. (Jeebus.) Courtesy of Tonic.com
Written by Annie Scott for Tonic, the “good news“ site. (Okay, scary eBay items may not be “good news” per se, but it made you smile, didn’t it?)
