Dixie is animated. I mean, she is constantly in motion. She is amusing and her mood is contagious. I can’t be with her without laughing and enjoying her self-deprecating humor. She can take any situation and turn it into an act. If anyone in the world should have been a stand up comedienne, it is she.
Having just returned from an extended trip across America accompanied by her husband and dog, she was expounding on the no touch bathrooms that are now standard in most rest stops.
“No one wants to touch public facilities any more,” she was saying. “I can go in and out of one of those places using only elbows and feet. We wave at the faucets, the soap dispensers and the paper towels. We wave and flap so much that we are dry before we leave the place.”
The Dance of the Stalls
Think about this: After you push the door to the restroom open, you step on tip toes to avoid any puddles or mess on the floor. Next you use your backside or elbow to open the stall door. If the situation is tolerable you squat and do what needs doing. This is often requires good balance so as to not to let your pants touch the floor while you fuss with a non-cooperative toilet paper dispenser. If the stall does not feature self-flushing toilets, you have to use your foot to punch or push a knob or lever to finish the job. Swinging your foot back down to the floor and turning to leave requires flexibility in order to avoid hand touching.
Upon exiting the stall you use your elbow or bum to push the door and head immediately to the cleanest sink you can find. Now comes the flapping and waving. Wave at the water, wave at the soap and wave at the towel dispenser. Sometimes you have to punch or push … it can be done with the elbow. Now, hopefully dry, you take a spare piece of TP or hankie to open the exit door. In many of the larger public bathroom, there are no exit doors as the place is arranged like a maze.
My initial experience with a self-flushing toilet was in the early eighties. I was in an upscale hotel for a luncheon meeting, and having arrived early, decided to take advantage of the time to “freshen-up.” I had no idea that the hotel had recently installed these new devices, so when the WC started to flush before I stood up; I nearly had a heart attack. Tripping over my own panty hose, I let out a loud scream followed by hysterical laughter .It was a candid cameral moment. Thankfully I did not hit my head on the door as I rushed away from the porcelain monster.
Electric Eyes and Scanners
All of this got me to think about the first “automatics” I have encountered. The first one that I remembered was alarming. It was around in 1959 when I had a job interview in the John Hancock building in Boston. I was running to get an elevator but the door started to close before I could get there. A man in front of me ran faster and stuck is arm in front of the closing door. I felt faint, as I pictured the man’s arm dripping with blood, perhaps even severed and falling to the marble floor in front of me. But miracle of miracles, the door opened and he walked inside.
Today, electric eyes watch us and serve us. Nary a word needs to be spoken, command or request given. Doors open with the swipe of a card.
Being a senior, I remember elevator operators, maids in the ladies room and doormen. It is now considered a luxury for an attendant to pump your gas and collect your money as you sit in the comfort of your vehicle. Groceries are scanned automatically. ATM machines have eliminated the need for most teller functions, and cars pass through tollgates without slowing down. As we eliminate the human element we wonder why there is so much unemployment.
