I picked out the most adorable bird feeder. I purchased expensive bird feed from the co-op and drove home, excited to begin interacting with nature. My husband built a screen porch off the back of our home, which is my favorite place in the world. I hung the bird feeder right outside my beloved porch, filled it with birdseed, and gave it my blessing.
I had already envisioned the morning consisting of sitting in my Adirondack chair with a cup of joe, watching all the birds come to my feeder with songs of thankfulness for my gift to them. So, off to bed I went satisfied to know what a giving person I was.
I awoke the next morning, made my coffee, and headed out to the porch. To my horror, birdseed was all over the deck next to the screened porch. I had left the birdseed bag out, and the squirrels ripped open the bag and made a huge mess! Really? How rude! I thought.
So, after I cleaned the mess, I headed to Target to purchase a cute vintage-inspired tin trashcan with a removable lid to hold my expensive birdseed. After all, a decorator wouldn’t even think about having anything unattractive on her porch.
When next morning came, I made coffee and again headed to the porch. To my horror, the “cute-but-functional” tin trashcan was dumped over and seed was everywhere. And worst of all, those furry varmints ripped a hole in my screened porch in order to get to that “cute-but-functional” tin trashcan. Oh, it’s on! I thought.
The birdseed came in the house, and my husband was informed of the repairs needing done. I took another trip to the store, and informed the clerk of my problem. He told me about a squirrel-proof feeder. Basically, it spins them around and around until they get dizzy and fall off. Personally, I wanted electricity run through the feeder, but realized that would defeat the purpose of feeding the birds.
So, once again, I headed home with a new bird feeder, and wondered if I was going to go in debt trying to feed the birds. The new feeder was up and ready to go for the next morning. I went to bed knowing all the problems were solved, and finally I could enjoy the stinking birds, with my stinking coffee, in my stinking Adirondack chair.
