I have a bad habit that is getting worse. I can't put things away. I start with a load of laundry in my bedroom that is in a basket, clean, folded and ready to be put away. The clothes then move to the stage of being a messed up pile of clean clothes, wrinkled and falling out of the basket. The next step is that they come out of the basket, spill onto the floor and wind up on the chair in my room or in a big pile on the floor. And then, inevitably, I can't tell the clean from the dirty clothes that I have thrown on the floor nearby and they all end up back in the basket, going back down into the laundry room where they'll end up in the washing machine together and begin the journey once again. You see, the pile upstairs is growing bigger as I write this story. I thought about putting my clothes away, but I decided that checking email and writing an article for this website was much more important.
You see, my life as the mother of three children means that my time is not my own. And what little free time I have, I do not want to spend putting clothes away. The same goes for my car, my office, the kid's rooms and all the other cluttered places that have stuff in them. How did it get this way? Can I get out from under the burden of knowing that every time I sit down to read my book club book or talk to my girlfriend or volunteer at the school, there is something that isn't getting done that would greatly reduce the stress in my life and in the lives of the family members living in the same home?
My daughter was the lucky passenger in the van last fall. She climbed into my car, a minivan, which often doubles as an office, kitchen, locker, bank, desk and bathroom (for grooming purposes only), and during this particular week, a hardware store and a nursery. She entered the van, took a deep breath and said very clearly, "Oh, mom, I love the smell of the van. It smells like a farm." Now, I can honestly say that we are a clean family, with only two cats and we have a cleaning lady who comes every other week. Child Protective Services has not been to the house to investigate the possibility that my children are living in filth so I know that when she says the van smells like a farm, it is due more to what was in the van and less to what she is accustomed to smelling in her daily living environment. In my van, there were 2 flats of mums, paint cans, a big bag of kindling, paperwork from my part time job, more paperwork from my volunteer activities, tools, food somewhere under the seats, a coffee cup I found last week, and numerous other items I have since cleaned out and thrown away.
This was a moment of hilarious laughter for me and a moment of sheer embarrassment, for if my daughter was to ever tell people that our van smelled like a farm, I was sure to be rejected as the go-to mom for pick-ups and car pools. I have some bumper stickers on it that would frighten most Republicans, but a 'farm-smelling' van pretty much denied access to most adults and most certainly their children.
So, 2 weeks ago, I took the van to get cleaned up, outside and in. Unfortunately, all the garbage I collected ended up in a bag that sits between the two front seats. I have big pieces of poster board in the front seat, along with newspapers and other reading materials for those afternoons of sitting and waiting for my kids while they graciously tell that their friends there is no room for them in the van. And actually, their friends are safer not getting in the van. I can't accommodate my kids, my life, my work, my tennis, my volunteer activities and try to keep a clean van. But I did do one thing that has made life in my van a little bit better. I broke the hatch on the rear door. No more stuff in the way back.
