I crack under hydraulic elevator pressure, and it’s not always pretty. I was in an elevator with two potentially important contacts the other day and as they chit-chatted about this year’s Nobel Prize winner for economics, all I could think to add was my mother’s favorite refrain, “Yeah, but what has he done for the Irish?” Floor thirteen: exit two potentially important contacts shaking their heads.
The Nobel Prize has been awarded since 1901 to recognize outstanding achievements in physics, chemistry, medicine, literature, and peace-making efforts. Knowing the winners in each category means you’ll never be stuck dancing to elevator music again; knowing the winners of the Ig Nobel Prize, a parody of the Nobel prize awarded by the Annals of Improbable Research magazine to recognize achievements that “first make people laugh, and then make people think,” means you’ll never be struck dumb should you get stuck between floors.
Yes, the Nobel and Ig Nobel awards inspire achievement, progress, and awe, but more importantly, they generate inspired elevator chatter.
Nobel Memorial Prize in Economic Sciences
This year’s prize was awarded to American Paul Krugman for his analysis of how economies of scale affect trade patterns and where economic activity takes place. If you have only a few floors left to chat, pretend to read Krugman’s New York Times column and shake your head (either in agreement or disagreement at his anti-Republican views) as you exit the elevator.
Stuck Between Floors?
The Ig Nobel award went to Geoffrey Miller, Joshua Tyber, and Brent Jordan for their research on the relationship between lap dancers’ ovulatory cycles and their earnings. A study of eighteen subjects found that when women were their most fertile, earnings jumped from $250 to nearly $400 per five-hour shift. This solidifies prior studies that women are indeed more attractive to men when at peak fertility.
Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine
French researchers Francoise Barre-Sinoussi and Luc Montagnier were recognized this year for their 1983 discovery of Human Immunodeficiency Virus, or HIV. They shared the award with Germany’s Harald zur Hausen, who was honored for finding human papillomaviruses that cause cervical cancer, the second most common cancer among women.
Stuck Between Floors?
The Ig Nobel Prize for the same category was awarded to Dan Ariely for demonstrating that expensive fake medicine is more effective than cheap fake medicine. Ariely, a behavioral economist, found that the therapeutic ability of medications is affected by commercial features like lower prices. People don’t expect generic brands to work as well, so they don’t. His studies could mean that soon we’ll all be paying more for store-brand painkillers.
Nobel Prize in Chemistry
Osamu Shimomura, a Japanese citizen who works in the United States, and Americans Martin Chalfie and Roger Tsien were recognized for discovering and developing green fluorescent protein (GFP) to help researchers watch the tiniest details of life within cells and living creatures. I thought glow-in-the-dark was cool, but these scientists have created tiny molecular flashlights, which make it possible to study numerous events that take place in cells and whole organisms that were previously invisible—like the development of nerve cells or the spread of cancer cells. So cool.
Stuck Between Floors?
Sheree Umpierre, Joseph Hill, and Deborah Anderson were awarded the Ig Nobel Prize for discovering that Coca-Cola is an effective spermicide, and C.Y. Hong, C.C. Shieh, P. Wu, and B.N. Chiang were recognized for proving it is not. This might be handy knowledge—or not—if you’re stuck in the elevator with a hottie and he/she happens to be drinking Diet Coke.
Nobel Prize in Physics
Japan’s Makoto Kobayashi and Toshihide Maskawa and American Yoichiro Nambu were recognized for theoretical advances that help explain the behavior of the smallest particles of matter. I don’t get subatomic physics, but they do, and for getting it, they get 10 million kroner to split between them—as well as the fame and glory.
