If I had it my way, every holiday would be like Halloween.
The other holidays are great, but let’s face it, they have some major hang-ups. Christmas is supposed to be about loving baby Jesus, but—don’t kid yourself—it’s all about buying stuff. Thanksgiving is awesome because all you do is eat and drink, but then it’s followed by guilt because all you did was eat and drink. Easter—honey-glazed ham? Peeps? Marshmallow yams? That damn Bunny just brought me a cavity.
New Year’s Eve is fun, but never as romantic, climatic, glamorous, or defining as you think it’s going to be. St. Patty’s Day—do I really need an excuse to get drunk? Cinco de Mayo—do I really need a Mexican excuse to get drunk?
In other words, holidays would not be about buying things, or about eating fowl, or about worshipping one God and not another; holidays would be about creativity, expression, and silliness. They, like Halloween, would be a national day to wear costumes.
Costumes are particularly important for adults. Although kids get to play dress up year round, Halloween is the one day when it is collectively okay for us to do so. Costumes allow us a chance for creativity in concept, and expression in execution. Best of all, when you are in character, you can act out of character. You are a shy investment banker by day, but by the evening of October 31st, you are the sexy banana who likes to grab butts. Trick, or treat?
By way of example, I have a run down of some of my past costumes to help brainstorm for this years Halloween:
Drunken Kiddies: In fourth grade, I went as a human size bottle of wine, my arms and legs dangling out of a papier-mâché bottle with my family’s winery label on the front. Some might think it’s perverse and wrong to dress a ten-year old up like a bottle of alcohol, but in Napa Valley, everyone understands—and everyone drinks. I was a hit.
Politicking: Politicians are always a favorite Halloween target, no matter what age. In sixth grade, during the 1988 presidential campaign, my best friend dressed as Michael Dukakis, and I went as George H. W. Bush. Born was my life-long penchant for mocking Republicans.
Strength in Numbers: If you are feeling wimpy about dressing up, group costumes are a good idea. Years back, six of my girlfriends and I dressed as a bunch of “chicks”: homemade yellow fuzzy tube dresses, bird beaks, and black boots. We had one token “cock” with us. The best part about having a large group costume is that you never feel ridiculous, or never more ridiculous than your friend who is dressed the same as you.
Costumes Get You a Piece of Ass: Being in costume is a great ice-breaker; a non-threatening way to lubricate the conversation. One year, three friends and I dressed up as the four seasons; beautiful costumes that were instant conversation starters. Next thing I knew, there was autumn dancing with a lumberjack, and spring kissing an ear of corn. Winter was trying to stay warm at the bottom of a vodka ice luge, and summer was busy with a camera, documenting it all.
Ideas Are All Around: Witches, cats, devils, angels are always popular, but costume ideas are really everywhere, especially nature. One year I made an ecologist friend an amanita muscaria mushroom cap, and I went as a cloud. Another year a friend and I spray painted Styrofoam balls, wrapped them around ourselves, and went as the solar system. One of my favorite spotted costumes was a jellyfish constructed out of an umbrella.
Artsy-Fartsy: If you have a friend that’s particularly art inclined, commission her to make you an outfit. One year a crafty friend made paper dresses tailored to our profession. Excel spreadsheets and pie charts were made into a floor-length dress for a financial analyst; building plans were made into A-lines for the architects; my tube dress was made out of a biochemical pathways wall chart. The Krebs cycle has never been so much fun.
