Wedding Etiquette for Guests

While attending a wedding is less stressful than planning one, there are still some etiquette questions that the attendees face. In the end, you only plan a wedding once (we should hope) but will be attending weddings for the rest of your life! Here are four frequently asked attendee questions and the answers.

I wasn’t invited to the wedding with a date but want to bring one. What should I do?
If you are not married, engaged, or living with your significant other, there is a high degree of probability that you will NOT be invited with a date. With that being said, if it’s a close friend of yours that is getting married and you just can’t imagine having fun without bringing someone you can play it two ways: 

1. Ask. You can tastefully (without being forceful) ask if you can bring a date; however, it’s important to keep in mind that weddings are expensive and there is a chance that the person says no. If they mention budget constraints and the fact that no one is invited with a date unless they are married or on that path, you have to hear them out. 

2. Don’t ask. Suck it up knowing there will be a ton of people to mingle with and make the most of your friend’s joyous day. 

Either way, you should never attend with a grudge, so if you can’t look past not bringing a date, then you should regretfully decline the invitation. 

When should I send a wedding gift to the happy couple?
As soon as you receive the wedding invitation, feel free to start shopping for a gift. Even if you are unable to attend, you should still be sending a gift to the couple. If the couple is registered, feel free to buy something from their registry. While a handheld blender may seem boring to you, this is what the couple registered for and therefore what they want. If the couple is not registered or you feel that the registry items are not personal enough check out the SomeoneSpoilMe’s Wedding Gift Guide for some unique wedding gift ideas. 

11 readers liked this story.
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05.01.2009
JEN
YOU ARE COMPLETELY RIGHT ABOUT THE GUEST PORTION OF THIS. SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE CHOSEN TO THROW SIMPLE ETIQUETTE OUT THE WINDOW. THIS POINT ALSO GOES TO WHETHER JUST THE ADULTS IN A FAMILY ARE INVITED OR THE ENTIRE FAMILY. IF THE CHILDREN ARE NOT EXPRESSLY ON THE INVITE THAT MEANS THEY ARE NOT INVITED. WEDDINGS AND RECEPTIONS ARE NOT NECESSARILY THE PLACE TO BRING YOUR SCREAMING INFANT OR TANTRUMING TODDLER. IT'S THE BRIDE AND GROOM'S DAY.
04.18.2009
Jenny LaVelle
This is great information I am going to my first 2 friends weddings this summer and this is really helpful!
04.18.2009
Rebecca Watson
Sadly, I had a few people who never even responded to my wedding invitation. My mother was really hurt. It doesnt take a lot to check yes or no on a Reply Card.
04.18.2009
Rebecca Brown
Please...if your invitation doesn't say "and guest" DON'T ask...so rude! Sasha, I'm with you - I always thought I had a year, too. Unfortunately, I'm way beyond that on a couple of folks. (Sorry!)
04.18.2009
Sasha Pave
I've always felt you have 1 year to send a gift. And I use nearly all of it!
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