While attending a wedding is less stressful than planning one, there are still some etiquette questions that the attendees face. In the end, you only plan a wedding once (we should hope) but will be attending weddings for the rest of your life! Here are four frequently asked attendee questions and the answers.
I wasn’t invited to the wedding with a date but want to bring one. What should I do?
If you are not married, engaged, or living with your significant other, there is a high degree of probability that you will NOT be invited with a date. With that being said, if it’s a close friend of yours that is getting married and you just can’t imagine having fun without bringing someone you can play it two ways:
1. Ask. You can tastefully (without being forceful) ask if you can bring a date; however, it’s important to keep in mind that weddings are expensive and there is a chance that the person says no. If they mention budget constraints and the fact that no one is invited with a date unless they are married or on that path, you have to hear them out.
2. Don’t ask. Suck it up knowing there will be a ton of people to mingle with and make the most of your friend’s joyous day.
Either way, you should never attend with a grudge, so if you can’t look past not bringing a date, then you should regretfully decline the invitation.
When should I send a wedding gift to the happy couple?
As soon as you receive the wedding invitation, feel free to start shopping for a gift. Even if you are unable to attend, you should still be sending a gift to the couple. If the couple is registered, feel free to buy something from their registry. While a handheld blender may seem boring to you, this is what the couple registered for and therefore what they want. If the couple is not registered or you feel that the registry items are not personal enough check out the SomeoneSpoilMe’s Wedding Gift Guide for some unique wedding gift ideas.
Should I give money or a gift?
There is not a soul we know that ever tried to return money. While seemingly boring and uncreative, it is actually one of the most appreciated gifts.
How much should I spend on a wedding gift?
There is no right answer to this question. Some people believe you should pay the cost of your plate at the wedding. However, it is tacky to ask what that number is so seemingly impossible to find out. Also, that would mean that the person who can afford the most expensive wedding would get the most expensive gifts despite the nature of your relationship. Our simple rule is—you should spend anywhere from $50 to $200 per head depending on:
1. What you can afford: you should not be breaking the bank when buying a wedding gift. If money is really tight but they are great friends, make them something like a scrapbook with photos and memorabilia from the time you they met until now. It really is the thought that counts, so when money is tight get creative!
2. Your age: if you are getting married right out of college, people are living off of starting salaries and oftentimes can barely afford their apartment. If this is the case, select a dollar amount to spend that will not interfere with the rent.
3. Your relationship to the couple: if they are good friends you may want to spend a little more than you typically would on a wedding gift.
4. How much you have spent already: There are a lot of other costs that are associated with the wedding other than just the wedding gift that need to be taken into consideration such as: if you bought them an engagement, shower and/or bachelorette gift, had to pay travel expenses to any of these events, or had to buy a bridesmaid dress.