Have you ever wondered what would your wedding would be like had you been born into a traditional sub-Saharan culture? Well, here’s your chance to be transported to another lifestyle for a moment, to learn about elements of African nuptials that can be implemented into your own ceremony.
Here’s the scenario: You are a Fulani, Wodaabe, or Vai woman, though probably much younger than you are now. You begin with your initiation—the rite of passage—during which your female elders enlighten you on the realities of married life.
For the duration of the engagement, both families have played a vital role in approving your matrimony, with your groom’s family first bringing your family gifts—your dowry—which include cattle, fabric, money and, yes, liquor as a symbol of their appreciation and acceptance. To further prove his love and commitment to you, your groom pays his respect by getting to know your entire family during the weeks leading up to your wedding.
Those weeks are busy with feast preparation, verbal communication between both families and financial negotiations. You are adorned by fine beadwork during the course of your engagement, an honorable recognition of your forthcoming status. Your groom and guests also don decorative beads, or cowry shells, a symbol of purification, beauty and power once used as currency.
Your big day arrives, and at the ceremony a prayer known as a libation is performed, to reflect on the importance of family and to pay homage to your ancestors. Your groom steps forward with a calabash filled with a mat, kola nuts, money, and needle and thread, which he presents to the father-of-the-bride. Your father accepts the calabash and places the mat on the ground, on which you will sit. You receive the gifts and agree to be his wife. Your relatives bind you and your groom’s hands together with braided grass as a symbol of unity. Drums talk, women clap their hands in joyous celebration of your union and you are now a married woman. Your “reception” consists of a huge feast, which lasts for several weeks after your wedding day, with the sights and sounds of dancing filling your village. The gala of your marriage will continue indefinitely, until you bring forth your first-born child.
Not as foreign as you would have imagined it, is it? That’s because traditional African weddings are not so far removed from Western ones. The differences are minimal; the concept and details, very much alike. The rite of passage, for example, can be likened to the bridal shower; some dowries equal the price of some engagement rings; and the participation of both families, well, we all know how that translates in modern times.
So you see, incorporating aspects of traditional African weddings is just a matter of application. Something as simple as using the adornments worn by your ancestors, or marching down the aisle to the rhythm of drums can be a way to honor your heritage. Because Africa is so diverse, specific wedding rituals often vary from region to region. There are over 1,000 ethnic groups in Africa, many with Islamic and Christian influences that play a role in wedding ceremonies.
A word to the wise though: when applying old rituals to new customs, keep in mind that not all of them may translate well. For example, one aspect of marriage within certain tribes is that when a man marries the eldest sister, he has the right to have an affair with any of the younger sisters whenever they come to visit. There’s one tradition we don’t want to keep alive!
