In the age of emails and texts, receiving something in the mail that isn’t a credit card offer or bill is a rare but welcome occurrence. Handwritten notes sent via snail mail have the ability to brighten up anyone’s day—even more so when they’re sent in appreciation or gratitude. Yet even though thank you notes are almost always met with joy, they seem to be a dying art.
The truth is, etiquette just isn’t what it used to be. These days, we’re lucky if we get a phone call or email acknowledging a given gift, let alone an actual note card. But with the advent of technology making snail mail seem obsolete, have the rules concerning thank you notes changed?
Occasions That Need Notes
After doing some etiquette research, one thing became increasingly clear—regardless of the situation, thank you notes are always well received. There are certain events that require them; just make sure you follow this cardinal rule. According to the Emily Post Institute, anything that’s received and opened without the giver around necessitates some sort of recognition. If you ever wondered whether a thank you note was appropriate, use that as a guideline. And if your specific gift falls under one of the following categories, sending a thank you card is always the right thing to do.
- Wedding
- Bridal/Baby shower
- Graduation
- Sympathy
- Birthday gifts sent in the mail
- Congratulations
- Playing host in your honor (via party or a place to stay)
We may know that these situations call for thank you notes, but what trips many people up are deadlines for sending notes. Often, when people are unsure of what the time frame is for politeness, the fear of being too late prevents them from mailing a card at all. When it comes to thank yous, the sooner the better is a good mandate to adopt. For most events, sending them no more than a couple of days afterward is best. With weddings, most etiquette experts give brides and grooms a year to respond, since guests have a year to send gifts. (The Emily Post Institute argues that three months is still the norm, though.) However, life doesn’t always afford much free time, so just know that a late thank you note is far better than nothing at all.
