If you were someone who spent half her life dreaming about her wedding, dressing up as a princess, or obsessing over bridal magazines pre-mate, stop reading right now. You’re not going to like what I have to say.
For everyone else, you feel my pain. I’ve always loved going to other people’s weddings, but I never thought very much about my own up until now. Now that I find myself getting married, I’m in a happily strange position. Suddenly I need to plan.
Curiously, I’ve become a planner in ways I hadn’t imagined. It’s beginning to scare me a little. I have started to notice the sparkle of rings. I see places as potential wedding venues and experience food in restaurants as menu ideas. I notice the line of a dress, the exact shape of a flower, and all music as potential reception songs. Poetry is no longer poetry for me; it’s a possible reading at the ceremony. My life has been taken over! Or has it?
No matter what fantasy the wedding industry presents you, it’s a five or eight-hour party—and it will end. (Okay, ours is a two-day affair, so it’s closer to ten hours, but it’s not very much time in the scheme of our life!)
Here are a few ways to avoid the whole wedding racket, or what I call “the wedding industrial complex.”
1. Never lose sight of why you’re planning a wedding. After a recent engagement party, I was so moved by all the love and support from family and friends; it was a complete and utter reminder to the both of us why we’re doing all this planning in the first place! We’ve chosen to spend our lives together—and that is a wonderful thing. I’ve seen brides and grooms experience amnesia during the planning. They forget why they’re getting married and let the stress overwhelm them. “Bridezilla” may be an exaggeration, but these women—and their crazy grooms—exist. The planning process is not always pretty. It can take over your life—if you let it.
