Brooklyn lawns bother me. I am astounded at the very sight of them lying there all in a perfectly intolerable measured plot of land, positioned in the front of each house or in the front of each apartment building, suffocated in by an unpleasant metal fence, steel-wired gate or that very stylish red brick trim.
Yes, I have grown accustomed to all those lawns, which are characteristic of my life’s city surroundings. I watch those neighbors and other people taking care of their lawns using all of the outside lawn equipment that they can buy. That electric lawn mower is well loved and used by most as they all leisurely walk across their small patch of land, maneuvering their bodies about.
I live next door to a gardener who gives dirty looks at the sight of my front lawn.
Well, Mr. Frank Giordano, or often called Mr. G., not only owns a gardening-care center, but has got two bright green planter’s hands that swell at the sight of the uncared for lawn. His hands bloat up from all of the internal pressure that gets all stored up from the mere thought that there are uncared for lawns on his block as well as throughout the Flatbush, Brooklyn area, that are not taken care of. He thinks that the size of the plot of land does not matter but some considerable trouble must be given to each home turf. His garden which is no larger than five feet by four is a beautifully, trimmed, tulip- ornamented garden.
One time he set up the well known Dandelion Big Shot Running Water Fountain on his front lawn. It shoots up 15 to 20 feet into the air! The second set of four side nozzles shoot at 45-degree angle, about 15 feet and all pump activated. The third set of side nozzles shoot at 45-degee angle, about 20 feet high into the sky. His entire family sit around in lawn chairs that are placed in a queue running right down his newly cemented alley, all watching the water shoot out from the fountain. They would spend their summer evenings with clasped hands looking passionately at their lawn and shooting water fountain. When people pass their home, probably for an evening walk, they would all unclasp their hands and sort of lean on them to raise themselves up from that inevitable slouch and begin to give nasty, malicious looks and then they would just stare as the people passed their home. Yes, Mr. Giordano, his wife and their older son, Billy, twenty-five, would all stop their light talk and low whispers and ogle until the pedestrians had long gone disappeared. They sometimes would all then direct their stares at my lawn. Mr.G. and all his family members would mournfully glare and whisper often causing them to collect their lawn chairs and desperately retire back into their red brick house.
The fountain had to be taken down due to the crowds of people that would take a special evening drive just to stop and look at Mr. G’s lawn set up. Confidentially, I think his wife actually wants the fountain down. Apparently, she wants an awning-deck and is so unhappy just watching that expensive, sprinkler system spoil her dreams. The deck would be too large to be placed on top of the front lawn. It would have covered the entire lawn- patch, the entrance of the alleyway, and would sit three inches onto my lawn.
During the summer nights, I used to sneak out of my front window, and sit on my stoop while all of the area was asleep. I would think of all the variations of how these people could rearrange and redecorate their front lawns. As far as the awning- deck is concerned, whether it being too large is a matter of taste. Mr. G. could easily put a large beam in the center of his lawn, just like how one would set a birdhouse on top of a column, sending the length of timber in through the floor of the deck forming support in its construction. Thus stabling it properly so that the deck would sit stationery in mid-air. He could install ladders which would hang out from the windows of his house and have it extend down onto the deck. This way it would be convenient for the entire family to stagger out of an open window and onto the deck thus avoiding any congestion that might occur if all had to wait their turn in the street just to climb up the ladder. Also, the ladder would prevent unwanted lines that could form outside on the sidewalk, which might cause the passing people to think there was some kind of new garden restaurant opening up and they too would wait on line.
