I grew up in the South. I was taught to say ma’am and sir. Manners were a requirement in my world. “Huh?” was a bad word. The lady who cared for me while my mother was at work taught me things like be nice and always remember to say thank you. Ok, I’m probably a dinosaur.
Although I may be a dinosaur, I’m not extinct and I’m not alone. I discuss the lack of manners in the world with friends and family. I don’t go around with a notebook making a list of manner infractions. Although there are times when the manners of my youth are appropriate, I don’t expect everyone to abide by them.
However, the lack of manners has become an actual health risk. Yesterday, I was in the gym walking laps for physical therapy. An eighty-year-old lady, who is a friend of mine, joined me. She was almost run over by a couple of middle school boys whose mother was exercising on the other side of the room. I took my friend’s arm and pulled her clear, but I’m angry. I’m substantial and hard to knock over, but my friend is elderly and fragile. She could have been hurt, and at her age, injury is a serious thing.
Another example of lack of manners and something I see almost every day is drivers who are terrible drivers because they are talking on their cell phones. I can handle, but don’t like cell phone users who delay me in line at stores or drive thrus. However, when my vehicle or my life is in danger, I am less tolerant. My husband and I have an agreement, we don’t talk on the cell phone when we are driving a moving vehicle.
My examples are extreme situations where a lack of manners or judgment could cause injury. However, I believe that we encounter manner-less people everyday who grate on our tempers, if we let them. Although I make a point to be nice to cashiers and fast food employees (been there, done that), I am often greeted with a grunt instead of a thank you. Ok, not important, but still annoying.
Then, there are the cashiers who ring up your groceries, which represent a major investment these days, and ignore you the entire time while they talk to their colleagues. I accept being anonymous most of the time, but if I’m spending my money, I do like to be acknowledged. Plus distracted cashiers make mistakes. I apologize to all you wonderful cashiers out there, but some are impossible.
I really am not trying to just do a gripe session here. These are just some examples that stayed with me. When I shop in Walmart, I try to shop when the children are in school. I do not dislike children per se, even though I taught school. What I do dislike is mothers who ignore their children who proceed to block aisles, run into people, or run over people with carts. I don’t have children, so perhaps I have unrealistic expectations of behavior?
It has occurred to me that teaching manners again could help the world run more smoothly. Perhaps there would be less shootings, attacks, accidents and calling 911 over fries if people used common (uncommon) courtesy. I think the Golden Rule covers it in a nutshell. “Don’t do unto others what you would not like done to you.” Ok, I paraphrased it, but you get the idea.
To put it in more legalistic terms, my rights begin where yours end. So, if you are encroaching on my space in the store, on the road, in the gym, you are in the wrong. I will respect your space if you will respect mine. I don’t know how we would apply this to parents, except to say, please control your children in public. What happens at home is your business.
