When Mr. Rogers asked, “Won’t you be my neighbor?” at the end of every episode of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, we knew what he was really asking was, “Won’t you be my friend?” If every neighbor were as kind and open-hearted as he was, we’d have no problem cultivating relationships within the neighborhood. Unfortunately, people focus more on building online communities these days rather than forging friendships with those around them.
Granted, there are times when you wish neighbors were a little less close, such as when they have boisterous parties or throw vegetable oil at each other on your front lawn during a fight. (True story!) But for the most part, calling neighbors friends is beneficial for a multitude of reasons, not the least being the comfort and security of a close-knit community. The hardest part is reaching out, and even that takes less effort than you’d think.
1. Say hi.
Yes, it’s as simple as that. Waving hello to neighbors as you’re walking the dog, watering the lawn, or heading toward the car is a great way to initiate conversation and promote further interactions. It establishes you as a friendly, approachable person and will prompt neighbors to greet you similarly in the future. You could also use the brief interaction to ask for their phone number or email address to have on hand in case of emergencies. Regardless of whether you want to be friends or not, obtaining this information is a good idea for safety purposes.
2. Take a walk.
Regular strolls around the neighborhood not only help you get to know your area better, they also increase your chances of coming into contact with neighbors. Remember, you don’t need a dog or a stroller to justify walking. Leave the MP3 at home, lace up your walking shoes, and pencil a morning or evening walk into your schedule. You might even run into neighbors who enjoy walking, too, and then you can join forces. Plus, neighbors who see you walking consistently might think of you as a potential walking buddy if they’ve been meaning to start exercising but lack the motivation.
If your neighborhood isn’t very walk-friendly, try setting up camp on the front porch a few times a week. Put a chair or a small couch out there and read or work on a knitting project while enjoying the fresh air and your surroundings.
3. Pay attention to little details for conversation starters.
Starting a conversation with someone you’ve never really spoken to can be incredibly intimidating, but it helps to have something specific to say or ask. If you’ve noticed your neighbor’s intricate garden, compliment him or her on it and ask for advice. They’re supporting the same political candidate you are? Let them know! Pretty much anything you see in their front yard is a potential conversation starter since they probably have some sort of attachment to it.
Use these details initially, but don’t rely on them completely and don’t use too many of them, lest your neighbors start to wonder why you’re so concerned with their lives.
4. Come armed with gifts.
If you want to bite the bullet and knock on the door, bringing an edible treat to offer the neighbors is a convenient and delicious excuse. Whether or not the neighbors like your famous apple pie or green bean casserole isn’t the point—it’s the gesture itself that’s going to win you points. And if they know their manners, your neighbors will return your plate or Tupperware dish with homemade goodies of their own, giving you another chance to talk and solidifying the friendly vibes.
5. Extend party invites beyond your inner circle.
Having a dinner party or similar gathering? What a perfect time to invite the neighbors over! Again, it’s all about the gesture; they may or may not come, but more importantly, they’ll recognize the invitation as an olive branch. If they do come, all the better. A casual party setting tends to put people more at ease and in the mood to chat. Plus, the next time they have a party of their own, perhaps they’ll ask you to come over, too. Don’t forget to ask them in person about coming to the party; it shows you really care and will increase the chances of them coming.
