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Why Facebook Has No Heart

In the 1990s, Seinfeld used to joke about the cell phone call on his television show. (It means much less than the call from a landline and never do it if you’re calling to give condolences, as Elaine did!) It was a funny episode then, but with evolving ways of communicating (not everyone even has a landline anymore), the joke is starting to feel quaint.

I love new technology and I’m always willing to embrace it—if it truly benefits me. But I’m not sure sites like Facebook do. Perhaps I’ll someday look back at this article and laugh at my aversion to Facebook. Then again, maybe I won’t. As far as I can tell, Facebook has no heart; and that’s not funny.

First published February 2008

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Key terms (tags) for this article:
internet, virtual, FaceBook, connect, web site, hate (view other popular tags)

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Comments

I think it's what you make of it. I can choose to ignore all the other stuff, and I have had a bunch of friend requests from people who I have dubbed "friend collectors". Personally, I only ask you to be my friend if I a) really want to reconnect with you and it's been too long and I have no other way at the time to get in touch with you, and b) if I will be communicating with you on a regular basis. I use FB, email, or the phone if I need to get in touch with someone - it just depends on the person, their preferred communication style, and how important it is. I hear a lot of people complaining about how you can't form "real" relationships with people on FB - they're right. But if you use it as just one of many communication options out there, it's not a bad thing. It really is what you make of it.

Hi Kathleen. I loved your article. And I loved that this is the quote I found when I visited your profile: "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye." I have had this quote hanging on my wall or in my possession, or on my mind, for probably 15 years. I think you are right: in this time when there considerable urging to always strive to be faster, bigger, better, more, it feels like a really good reminder that sometimes, there are other things that are more important. Thanks for taking the time to write. All the best, Shea

I have always hated Facebook from the moment I joined. I only gave into the pressure to get one because so many of my friends either used it more than Myspace, or they didn't use Myspace at all anymore. It is helpful for connecting with classmates and sometimes teachers, but I don't get anything beneficial from it in the long run.

I think you make a good point. They are not for everyone. However, FB and social networks like them do provide value in terms of connection. I don't think you can get a one-size-fits all for soul satisfaction because most people are at different levels of awareness in terms of what sates their soul. And, there's a very utilitarian reason for FB (or like types) providing value. My experience is when you have kids and don't have time to pick up the phone (literally) and your friends live all around the country - it's satisfying to the soul to see what a friend is up to by perusing their site, seeing their pictures, knowing what they had for dinner if they decide to share that on their "wall". Also, Divine Caroline is a social networking site! They just have a different angle!

i had the silly things my friends send me. They are friends I actually see on a day to day basis too but I honestly do not have time to keep chains going. I see where you coming from.