First, there was Anaïs Nin and her adult diaries. I got through all seven volumes while backpacking through Asia and ventured next into her erotica. In the 1940s, she penned her sexy tales alongside fellow writer (and lover), Henry Miller. In her diaries, Nin had alluded to the “Collector,” an anonymous man who had commissioned her and Miller to write sexually explicit essays for him, but Nin knew better, and added her own distinctly feminine touch. These essays later made their way into her first book of erotica, Delta of Venus, followed by Little Birds, and later, Henry and June, which detailed her explicit encounters with Miller and his wife, June, which all happened around the same time Miller’s own Tropic of Cancer was banned in the U.S. for being too obscene.

After plowing through the above works on my trip and landing back home desiring more, I searched for modern erotica to see if my peers had anything on Miller and Nin. I had a new man in my life and we dated long distance, so to keep connected we traded our favorite Rumi poems over the phone. But when we came together, we wanted those quick fix stories that sat tucked under my bed; the ones we could pick up, turn to any page, and get right in the mood. I found what we wanted in the books Sweet Life: Erotic Fantasies for Couples and Sweet Life 2: More Erotic Fantasies for Couples.

As a writer, I’ve learned important tips while I read to study my craft, which is that I don’t necessarily need to connect with the story, or as in the case of the Sweet Life series, that I can appreciate the piece for the quality of its written word. The Sweet Life books, edited by San Francisco Chronicle sex columnist and erotica writer, Violet Blue, is the kind of erotica that will moisten your loins as you reach blindly into the grab bag of your sexual imagination. So you’re not into three ways? No problem, maybe you’ve always wondered what it might be like to ask your lover for a spank, or perhaps take it a step further, and ask that hot stranger at the sex party for a spank. Then Sweet Life will guide you there through the bravery of other couples.

The part of Sweet Life that makes it easy to swallow (all puns intended) is that it is clear in each essay that these couples have healthy and satisfying relationships. They just know, as we all know, that once in awhile we need a little nudge or tug (or love pat-turned-spanking) in order to work in the next step of what could be possible—especially if we get to read about it first.