In the fall of 2008, I spent the season with a college roommate and her family of men—her husband and two sons ages ten and fifteen. They made me a place in their warm, loving home nestled in a very Norman Rockwell spot in Westchester, NY. It was a time of healing as I gained perspective on a family feud in V-A while my friend healed from a bout of the big C. Being so close to NYC, I enjoyed a busy schedule filled with readings and writing. My friend kept up with her boys’ Hebrew classes, track meets, music lessons, play dates and more. Plus, she needed to take daily naps and so it truly was only every once in a while when we would manage to hit the mall for a movie in the afternoon. 

Just a few days ago, I was remembering how during one of our afternoon forays when we saw the previews for Australia we quickly concluded how stupid it looked. So when I see it listed I couldn’t resist watching. I was fighting a bit of a flu bug and had slept all day, so when it came on from 11p.m. to 2 a.m. I figured what the hell. How bad could it be? 

Answer ... extraordinarily so and with so many unintentional moments of hilarity that I kept forgetting that it wasn’t supposed to be a comedy. A couple of highlights included constant references to The Wizard of Oz that made absolutely no sense whatsoever. There were characters whistling and singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow and clicking their heels together at the darnest moments. 

First off, there were two separate really bad movies smashed together into one really awful and long movie. From 11–12:30 p.m., it was a western and then it became a love story set against the backdrop of WWII. Also thrown in for good measure was a social justice theme about the Aborigines.

In conclusion, dear friend, the list is much too long for why this movie quickly shot up to the top of my Top 10 List of All-Time Worst Movies and I do not recommend that you ever attempt to watch it. Your time is much too valuable.