When you reach a certain age in your life things just seem to click.
That is where I am in my life right now.
Everything I’ve ever wondered about is coming into focus.
Things that I thought were out of reach, are within my grasp. Almost close enough for me to touch.
I am starting to realize that life cannot be taken so seriously. Life is meant to be lived. I was brought into this world with the intent of me being happy. Anything I have ever wanted, everything I have ever wanted to do, any person I have ever wanted to be with, can and will be mine if that is my wish.
When I was young, I was timid. I was very insecure and self-conscious. I had a bad complexion, stringy hair, ugly teeth, and was tall and skinny.
I thought everything was too difficult to learn and life in general was a chore to live. My relationships with the opposite sex were few and far between. I never thought I was good enough, pretty enough, or smart enough. When I was in a relationship it was awkward and uncomfortable; at least until I graduated high school and met my very first love.
He was a cool dude in a souped-up Camaro. He lived next door to my best friend and his roommate was his best friend. We became a couple. They became a couple. It was heaven. He taught me so much and he showed me so much. With him I began to gain confidence and security. He made me feel beautiful and special. He changed me for the better.
Unfortunately the relationship didn’t last, but I have never forgotten him. He touched my heart and he will always hold a special place in my life.
My life from that time on consisted of living and breathing for fun. My moments were filled with thoughts of good times and great friends who I have stayed connected to.
There were still rough patches I thought I would never survive; relationships that drained me and left me again, insecure and vulnerable. Regrets? Yes, a few. But I chalk that up to the processes of a developing life.
At fifty years old I am still learning, but in a different way. I am thrilled by new discoveries and productive thoughts. I eat up and swallow as much information as I can every day. I look forward to doing new things and meeting new people. I am no longer threatened by the smarter or prettier people. I welcome them, and admire them. I give compliments more easily now and without bias but with truthfulness.
One of the most important lessons I have learned so far is with experience comes knowledge.
The most important teacher in life is you.
The choices are there. The happiness is always within reach. The success is ripe for the picking. The choices you make are just that: choices. Good. Bad. You decide. You hold your future in the palm of your hand.
