Today I Mourn

Today, I mourn the loss of my best friend. I’m saddened by this death and I will never forget the chain of events that finally led to this day. I will miss my friend and I’m sure there will not be a day that goes by that I will not think of all the memories, all the fun, as well as all the pain we had shared. I have known my friend for seven years now, although I knew this friend since high school, I never got very close until seven years ago.

My friend and I did everything together, but I kept our friendship a secret from everyone. In the beginning, I didn’t hide my relationship—in fact, there was a whole group of us that were friends. But slowly that group got smaller and smaller. Family members were always asking me if I was still involved in this deadly friendship, but of course, I would lie and tell them no. How could I not still be involved? Everyone else had moved on, they found new friends, friends that were “upstanding people” as they put it, but I remained loyal and true. I wasn’t going to stray because I remembered all those times in my life when I suffered from depression, all those times that I was alone, all those times when others just couldn’t be “bothered by my drama,” my friend never left my side. There were times through out our friendship that I tried to make other friends, but my friend remained loyal to me—all I had to do was call.

We have been through so much together. We would stay up all night, just talking. We shared the most intimate moments of my life. I had never had someone I could tell anything and everything to without feeling like they were judging me, so this friendship, for me, was a godsend. For the first in my life, I felt pretty. I was invincible, I lost weight, I wasn’t laying around feeling sorry for myself, I went to work everyday, my house was clean—all because my friend motivated me to be better than I ever was. I liked the person I was when we were together, or at least I thought I did.

So how could anyone think this was a destructive relationship? They were jealous, as far as I was concerned. Just because they couldn’t hang with us, they had to put us down, telling me it was time to grow up, it was time for me to stand on my own. They would say they were just scared for me, but I knew they hated my friend.

So I woke up this morning and made the decision to lay my friend to rest. You see my friend isn’t like most friends. My friend goes by many different names, maybe you’ve heard them some time in your lifetime? The more popular were “meth,” “ice,” or “glass.” So, now you understand why I had to lay my friend to rest, because if I don’t, it will be me that’s laid to rest.