As a beginner to the practice of yoga, I’m already seeing some unexpected benefits of attending a weekly yoga class. I began going to yoga more regularly when I became pregnant because it really seemed to help me avoid the typical soreness that accompanies the later stages of pregnancy and I was hoping that it would help prepare me for childbirth. Now, as I continue to attend classes, I’m starting to see how my yoga classes are impacting me in far more significant ways. The increased flexibility is great, but it’s how the yoga is impacting me emotionally that gets me back to class each week.
You see, I’m a planner; well actually, I’m an over-planner. I love to make plans and talk about what’s going to happen next in my life. Although there are some real benefits to this tendency (my life is organized and we get to enjoy a lot of good time with friends and family), I’ve realized that there’s something quite unhealthy about this habit. My husband often jokes with me about what a planner I am, and there are times when he gets fed up and insists that we just not make any plans at all. We laugh about my being a planner, but I can now see that my need to make plans is an attempt to gain control over my life. I focus on plans for the future as a way of avoiding what I’m feeling in the present moment.
I’m trying to work on living in the moment and I have a feeling that a lot of other women could use some help in this area as well. If you’re like me, you may find yourself planning your next trip while you’re on vacation rather than just enjoying your current trip. Part of it is that I like to have things to look forward to. But a lot of it is that it’s really hard for me to relax and just enjoy the moment.
Like many women today, I spend most of my time almost literally running from one activity to the next. I make myself busy so that I won’t have to feel negative things. Being busy makes me feel important. If I have a lot going on in my life then it must mean that I’m competent, that I’m in demand, that people need me. Up until recently, I’ve thought that my busy schedule was a sign of my successes. I feel worthy at the end of the day if I’ve accomplished a lot, and each day I need to know what I am going to try to get done the next day.
I’ve always thought that my being a doer and a planner was a good thing. I still feel that way, but I’m also beginning to see the importance of being able to just enjoy what I’m doing at the moment. Rather than planning things with my husband, I’m now trying to just hang out. I recently had a little girl, and I don’t want her to grow up feeling that life is all about doing things. I try to just sit with her and watch her; and just enjoy playing with her instead of always trying to work on something developmental. I know that if I want her to be able to live in the moment and enjoy now instead of constantly looking to what’s next, then I have to be able to do that myself.
Of the many strategies that I have employed to be more present in my daily life, none have made as significant an impact as yoga. Although I’m still just a beginner (I’m that person in the class that seems to have no idea what’s going on), I can already see that yoga is having an effect on me. First, I’m trying to be more in touch with my current emotions so that I’m not always running from them. The time at the beginning and end of each yoga class forces me to stop and check in with how I feel. I have found yoga to be particularly helpful because it’s almost impossible to stand on one foot or stay balanced in the various positions if you’re not present in what you’re doing. I’m forced to stay in the moment for the entire class if I’m going to be able to maintain the poses. Finally, when trying to make any change in your life it’s helpful to have people that will keep you accountable as you work toward your goal. Having an instructor and other people in the class helps me stay focused on what we’re doing.
