In Gratitude, No Matter What

Earlier this month, a play I wrote was performed in a festival which was a two-week competition. Each night, about ten plays competed and were evaluated by two or three judges who selected one or two plays from the evening to move onto the final round, and the winners of the finals would then be published in a compilation. I had participated in this festival two times before and my plays were not selected as semi-finalists or deemed “winners” either time, but I had a strong feeling that the third time was going to be my charm. I felt thrilled and blessed to be working on a play I was so proud of with a phenomenal, insightful, brilliant director who totally “got” my play and was doing these fabulously subtle and nuanced things with it, and two extremely talented actors who could both easily be stars. To add to my giddy excitement, we were all getting this over-the-top positive feedback from people who had seen a rehearsal, and everything was falling so magically into place. As a playwright, it can be a frustrating, scary, and/or intimidating loss of control to work with others on something so close to my heart, but this entire process felt like a dream collaboration, and for me, exemplified all the best possibilities that working together to create a piece of theatre can be.

The night of our performance, I dressed up and wore eye shadow, the house was packed with friends and family, and afterwards, I went to the after-party I had planned to celebrate our accomplishment. I was told that the night’s winner would receive a call between midnight and 1:00am, so when I returned home a little after 11:00pm feeling very satisfied about my play and in the after-glow of my after-party, I busied myself arranging my flowers and checking email. A little after midnight I crawled into bed and proceeded to roll over every 5 to 7 minutes to check my cell phone for the time, and to see if I had missed any calls that had mysteriously and inexplicably gone straight to voicemail. By 12:38am I was starting to feel like that girl who is home alone on a Saturday night, lying awake, waiting for the emotionally unavailable man who she is madly in love with and who may or may not be out on a date with another woman, to call. At 1:04am I drifted off into sleep thinking that it would only be a few minutes until I would be awakened by the loud ringing of my phone...

4 readers liked this story.
share
POST
Comments
09.05.2007
Suha Araj
wow, what great perspective. An award is an easy way out, I think its much harder to recognize all your hard work and the work of your supporters. Congrats on all your success and supporters and thank you for inspiring me to have gratitude on a daily basis.
Jennifer thank you so much, I have something new to add to my gratitude list. Write on!
07.25.2007
Cydney Bruening
I'm sitting here with tears flowing down my face because my life is busy going down the toilet...or so I thought until I read this piece. My soon to be ex-husband is keeping me from buying a new badly-needed vehicle and my trying to get a mortgage on a new house - I'm knee deep in lawyers and red tape - but now I realize I have much more to be happy about than sad...so I'm off now to start a gratitude list and will read it every 5 minutes if needed...thank you so much for reminding me that nothing happends without a reason (and a lesson)
07.24.2007
Cathy Lepik
Jennifer - Thanks for sharing your sunny-side up approach. I'm going to adopt your morning gratitude list (starting with a nod to you for the terrific idea). As a writer I can soooo relate to your story! And, for the record, I'm absolutely, 100% sure your time will come. I'm an advertising copywriter in an industry that is totally caught up in awards and for the longest, I was too. The first occasion I had to accept some awards in front of my peers I was on my honeymoon. The next big win came when I was on pregnancy bed rest. Life can definitely have a dark sense of humor. Anyway - I thoroughly enjoyed your article and will look out for more. Thanks a ton for sharing.
07.02.2007
Rebecca Brown
Hi Jennifer, as the editor of this section and another, I have to tell you that whenever I see a story by you I'm so happy, because I know it's going to be a good one that I can't wait to read and share with others. I think you're a great writer with fantastic, positive insights. Keep on keepin' on - great things are happening for you already.
It feels good to write.

Your stories, musings, and advice are welcome here. We know you've got something to share, so jump in—maybe get a little famous. And don't worry—you can save a draft!

most liked
Loader_buff
Other topics you might appreciate
Travel Play Career & Money Neighborhood & World Parenting