It’s been years since I had a Valentine’s date. I’m single, so it’s not because I’m married and stopped partaking in the ritual. Part of me finds it a wonderful event and part of me could not care less. Maybe it’s because I grew up not knowing of this yearly date night. Maybe it’s because I find it wrong that Valentine’s day is only an annual event, as if we should only pamper loved ones once yearly? But then again, we do have Mother’s and Father’s day, so, why not Lover’s day too?
For years I have invited my single friends to come together for a dinner at my house on this evening because I know that for many who are single, this is their so called “worst day of the year” to sit at home alone.
When I asked one of my friends if he wanted to join he looked at me with disdain and basically said “I don’t think so,” with the attitude of “Are you crazy?” Well, I didn’t think I was, but to him it’s a huge flaw that he doesn’t have a date on Valentine’s day. He even added, “What’s wrong with me? I live in New York, it‘s full of people, and I can’t meet someone?”
Let me just say to all of you—there is nothing wrong with you! How about you as your Valentine? Why not take the opportunity to take this day out as a me day? Some pampering, a nice massage, some new perfume for yourself. Go buy the best chocolates in town, a nice glass of wine, and maybe a little lavender bath for relaxation.
Often, we don’t see that everything we would like to receive from others we can give to ourselves too. The flowers, the attention, the quiet evening with soft music and candle light. Don’t get me wrong, this is wonderful when shared, but you don’t have to live without it if there‘s not a special someone other than yourself in your life right now.
While I write this I’m having a delicious lunch in a nice restaurant on a Saturday afternoon in rainy New York City. I make sure—very sure—that I take myself out for a nice meal on a very regular basis. I don’t want to cook every night, after all. I need a break too. And I will give me one.
I also have my weekly evening of me time which includes an extra nice dinner, maybe that lingering lavender bath, no phone, and some candles and classical music.
A friend asked me the other day if I would ever consider getting married again. Of course I would. I love the idea of marriage. He asked how I would handle having my me nights if I was married. My answer was, “I would share it.”
The point is not to be with someone. The point is to pamper me and treat me really well. You see, me and my love, we are both the same.
