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Lies, Lies, Lies: How Are You Fooling Yourself?

A white wedding dress, the toupee, and New Year’s resolutions. Certain lies need no explanation, but is a padded bra really lying? I suppose it’s just false advertising, or “doing the best with what you’ve got” depending how you lie to yourself about it. Botox, “natural make-up,” and let’s just face it, Snackwells. “I’ll start on Monday,” laughing at a knock-knock joke, tinted eyelashes, an orange tan, and Canal Street. “Just five more minutes,” “I’m fine,” and “What bald spot?” Spanx, Lip Venom, and platform heels. “It’s homemade,” “I was just about to,” and “Yeah, it’s the hardest I’ve ever felt.” “I never lie.”

In my newest book, Moose: A Memoir of Fat Camp, I reveal the ways I’ve lied in my life, and not surprisingly, it’s not only about the lies we tell to others but the lies we tell ourselves.

Sometimes the falsehoods are more intricate, revealing insecurities at play, or our fear of what others may think of us. Have you ever stopped to consider what kind of lies you tell? What types of secrets you agree to keep for others, and what that says about you?

The giveaway ended August 1st, but you can still add your story to this chit chat. Look for more giveaways soon and stand by for an announcement about our winner.

03.28.2012 Report
I just wanted to add, Stephanie, that the book I recommended would go along really well with yours - my intention is not to outshine your book in anyway and I meant to offer my sincerest congratulations! After reading about your book, I was so amped to send out the info about Mistakes were Made - as a compliment to your work, that I forgot the most important part - and that was acknowledging you..I apologize -and again, BIG CONGRATS! I look forward to reading your book (of much needed awakening!).
03.28.2012 Report
I recommend the following: Mistakes were made (but not by me) by C. Tavris and E. Aronson: http://www.mistakesweremadebutnotbyme.com/. Here's a brief intro from book:

"At some point we all make a bad decision, do something that harms another person, or cling to an outdated belief. When we do, we strive to reduce the cognitive dissonance that results from feeling that we, who are smart, moral, and right, just did something that was dumb, immoral, or wrong.

Whether the consequences are trivial or tragic, it is difficult, and for some people impossible, to say, “I made a terrible mistake.” The higher the stakes—emotional, financial, moral—the greater that difficulty. Self-justification, the hardwired mechanism that blinds us to the possibility that we were wrong, has benefits: It lets us sleep at night and keeps us from torturing ourselves with regrets. But it can also block our ability to see our faults and errors. It legitimizes prejudice and corruption.."
03.16.2011 Report
Sounds like an interesting book Stephanie! Congratulations!
02.21.2011 Report
I think keeping secrets about ourselves is lie building an emotional prison--we can't get out until we own up to the truth. Sounds harsh, but that's the way I feel, anyway.
02.02.2010 Report
Anyone ever heard of the Act As If philosophy? I think it's something that Wayne Dryer speaks about.... How does this play into the posed question??? Any thoughts?
01.31.2010 Report
oh wow! i lie every day since my freshman year in college. For example the color of my hair, the texture of it, how its curl instead of straight, how i lighten my skin, use contacts, that push up bra... and once i look at the mirror, it just does not look like me. This made me realize how much i have lied to myself more than to others.
01.30.2010 Report
Also I think I tend to tell lies to myself that are of the negative value. So maybe if I chance that to positve I will create positve. Is it ok to tell ourselves these little lies? I am going to for now regardless.
01.30.2010 Report
This is really an awesopme question! I never ever thought about it. I hear things like "what you don't like in others is someting something someting in myself" and "like minds attract", and "you draw closer to those who do and act most similar to what I do and act". There are a couple more but they are rather the same, hummm. I do say to others that "you get back what you give sevenfold". I only say that tho when I have no other way to defend myself which means I say it out of anger. Boy, ,.... I am going to think on this, this is good.
08.07.2009 Report
I think we lie to ourselves to support the beliefs we have about something. I just finished writing a post about why I spend all day working when I'm really only doing "busy" work. It came down to some beliefs I had that were not serving me at all. When I change those beliefs I'm sure the behavior will change as well as the lies I tell myself.
07.01.2009 Report
Probably the same lie that nearly every girl either told or heard: I'm on the pill to clear up my skin.
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It feels good to write.

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