Header_discussion

Lies, Lies, Lies: How Are You Fooling Yourself?

A white wedding dress, the toupee, and New Year’s resolutions. Certain lies need no explanation, but is a padded bra really lying? I suppose it’s just false advertising, or “doing the best with what you’ve got” depending how you lie to yourself about it. Botox, “natural make-up,” and let’s just face it, Snackwells. “I’ll start on Monday,” laughing at a knock-knock joke, tinted eyelashes, an orange tan, and Canal Street. “Just five more minutes,” “I’m fine,” and “What bald spot?” Spanx, Lip Venom, and platform heels. “It’s homemade,” “I was just about to,” and “Yeah, it’s the hardest I’ve ever felt.” “I never lie.”

In my newest book, Moose: A Memoir of Fat Camp, I reveal the ways I’ve lied in my life, and not surprisingly, it’s not only about the lies we tell to others but the lies we tell ourselves.

Sometimes the falsehoods are more intricate, revealing insecurities at play, or our fear of what others may think of us. Have you ever stopped to consider what kind of lies you tell? What types of secrets you agree to keep for others, and what that says about you?

The giveaway ended August 1st, but you can still add your story to this chit chat. Look for more giveaways soon and stand by for an announcement about our winner.

07.08.2008 Report
I lied about cheating on my husband when he knew it, he later became very ill and I attributed it to chating on him.It did irreperable harm to our marriage
M B M B
07.08.2008 Report
I too grew up with an enormous liar, my mother, so it became especially important to me to live with truth in my life. However, in reading what you said, I realize there is surely more to it, although sometimes smaller if that can be -- wearing those spanx, raving over a drawing of one of my children (which although they are so special -- I'm not always quite sure what they are!) and I suppose the list goes on. I think sometimes, while I can't remember the exact quote -- it is somewhere in the line of what is better, a lie (albeit a small one) that brings a smile or a truth that brings a tear?
07.08.2008 Report
I grew up with a Habitual liar for a mother and my sister picked up the habit. So now I have a strong aversion to anyone I catch in a lie, I lose repest for them instantaniously. I will even cause a breakup no matter how trivial the lie. I myself have stewed sleepless nights at times when I've know telling someone might not be the way to go, but refusing to lie. If they don't ask the question, I'll be fine.
07.08.2008 Report
I once knew a pathalogical liar (albeit, my ex-roommate). She lied so much that she even admitted being a liar like it was no big deal. It got to the point that I couldn't stand being around her, and that every single thing that came out of her mouth I could count on being a lie, and couldn't believe even the simplest of things that she would say. I'd like to think that most people are honest, and if anything, my past experiences with liars, (whom, by the way, I no longer have anything to do with) have enabled me to see through a liar early on, so that I don't get burned, and can associate with people who are worthwhile.
07.08.2008 Report
I agree with Amelia... I lie to myself more than to others. I think that sometimes lying to yourself keeps you from trying to change yourself for the better.
07.08.2008 Report
I think the most interesting thing about lying is karma. What goes around comes around and there's just no escaping it. Lying about something is supressing or skirting the truth, which just makes it want to reach the light of day all the more. When you lie you activate the "what you resist, persists" law of the universe, because a lie is just another form of resisting the truth. Every time I've told a big lie it - usually these start with deceiving even myself - it has come back to bite me and I've had to pay the piper. Like lying about hidden credit card debt to my husband. I just hope the payback for keeping Santa Claus alive and well to my 11 year old isn't too harsh when the day comes!
07.08.2008 Report
I believe that being true to yourself and whoever you are with is the real test. Lies are only going to explode in your face if you keep on needing to play catch up with your lies. be true to your self because that is how God made you. Don't try to build on or try to take away your natural beauty. Karen Mulhern
07.08.2008 Report
I think there are alot of lies we tell others and ourselves that we NEED to. If a friend asked me if the new dress she absolutely just had to have looked fabulous on her, would I be wrong to say yes it does? I don't think so. However I don't lie about the truly important things. We also lie to our kids whether we consider it lying or not. We tell them there is a Santa Claus and they had better be good, the tooth fairy will come, that babies come from storks, etc. It's when the lies become a way of life that there is a problem. I consider myself a very honest person but I have done all of the above. However if my husband asked me if I did something he didn't want me to, I would not lie to him. I still can't lie to my parents even though I am almost 45. It's life and we all do it whether we admit it or not. Does that mean we are all liars? Absolutely not!!!
07.08.2008 Report
When I began grad school I wanted a certain big time researcher (we'll call him Dr. Famous Scientist) to be my PhD adviser. Thing is, so did my good friend, and I didn't want the competition- my friend was a better student that me. I knew he could only take on one student to support for 5 years, so I lied to my friend and told him that I spoke with Dr. Famous Scientist and he told me he wasn't taking any students at all. And then I had a real meeting with Dr. Famous Scientist and he agreed to be my adviser.
My friend never figured out that I lied. But he works in the lab right next door. A constant reminder for the next 4-6 years that I told a lie to get where I wanted to be.
07.08.2008 Report
I think the lies we tell to ourselves ar ethe most injurious. We play negative mental tapes, we convince ourselves that everything is OK when it isn't. I was once in an abusive relationship and convinced myself it was my fault. Right now I am grieving the loss of my mother and I tell myself I am going to be OK. It doesn't feel that way.
14 readers liked this story.
email
Plus_14MORE WAYS TO SHARE
It feels good to write.

Your stories, musings, and advice are welcome here. We know you've got something to share, so jump in!

Article_sweeps
Most Liked Stories
Loader_buff
Sweeps_offers_article_300_top
Win a $10,000 escape to Jamaica! Enter as often as you wish.
Win a $10,000 escape to Jamaica! Enter as often as you wish.
VIEW ALL