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Lies, Lies, Lies: How Are You Fooling Yourself?

A white wedding dress, the toupee, and New Year’s resolutions. Certain lies need no explanation, but is a padded bra really lying? I suppose it’s just false advertising, or “doing the best with what you’ve got” depending how you lie to yourself about it. Botox, “natural make-up,” and let’s just face it, Snackwells. “I’ll start on Monday,” laughing at a knock-knock joke, tinted eyelashes, an orange tan, and Canal Street. “Just five more minutes,” “I’m fine,” and “What bald spot?” Spanx, Lip Venom, and platform heels. “It’s homemade,” “I was just about to,” and “Yeah, it’s the hardest I’ve ever felt.” “I never lie.”

In my newest book, Moose: A Memoir of Fat Camp, I reveal the ways I’ve lied in my life, and not surprisingly, it’s not only about the lies we tell to others but the lies we tell ourselves.

Sometimes the falsehoods are more intricate, revealing insecurities at play, or our fear of what others may think of us. Have you ever stopped to consider what kind of lies you tell? What types of secrets you agree to keep for others, and what that says about you?

The giveaway ended August 1st, but you can still add your story to this chit chat. Look for more giveaways soon and stand by for an announcement about our winner.

07.01.2008 Report
I lied to my fiancee. I met and fell for someone else, and lied and lied for a year and a half. I broke off the engagement. My affair with the other person crashed and burned, with a shocking immediacy. I learned the type of person you can become if you don't stay true to yourself. I learned that lying does not a good foundation make for anything. Relationships built on lying, whether the lies are to that person or to someone else, are not real. Somehow when you are doing it, its different because its YOU, you feel you have reasons, that your situation is different, more compelling. Looking back now, I can only think about it in short bursts. I am too shocked at what I did. I still cry almost every night, about who I became, what I did, who I hurt. I wanted to want the life I planned so badly, the wedding, the husband, and I just didn't and couldn't understand why. I used to say I had no regrets, that whatever you do you learn from, but I do now. I regret it all.
07.01.2008 Report
This is hard to admit...and I think that people will think I am crazy. I lie about whether my clothes are new or not. I shop, a lot. And people always ask me if what I am wearing is new, and I feel bad about all the shopping I do and think that if I always say yes, that they will see that I actually have a shopping addiction! So I lie, and I say no, it's an oldie!! I have had this outfit forever. I know it's strange!
07.01.2008 Report
Until recently, I have always lied about having my Bachelor's Degree. I was Valedictorian in high school and went to college on an academic scholarship. I left after my sophomore year for a guy and we didn't up working out. By then, I had been hired at a great company and was making decent money for someone my age. I always wanted to go back, but just never did. When asked questions about school I would try to lie without REALLY lying. You know, when asked "What is your degree in?" I replied, "I majored in business." I always felt like such a failure and would never really bring it up. In relationships, if that subject was brought up- I'd rather end things than tell them the truth. These days, I realize that I am not defined by a degree and surround myself with friends who could care less about whether I have my Bachelor's or not. I will never forget how liberating it was to finally tell a guy I was dating the truth about my education. We're still together 8 months later!
07.01.2008 Report
My husband's good friend is cheating on his girlfriend. I feel awful that I know and it feels a lot like I'm betraying my own. I don't know his girlfriend very well, and I wouldn't feel comfortable telling her. I also do not feel like it's my place.

I haven't formally agreed to keep the secret for my husband's friend -- to his face. In fact, he doesn't even know that I know. I won't tell her unless she asks me, which she won't. She's already been told by other people but refuses to believe it. Maybe I'm lying to her by not telling, but I think it's even worse that she's lying to herself.

Mel Mel
07.01.2008 Report
I lied about when I lost my virginity. Most people who lie about this do it because they lost it when they were too young and don't want to appear "easy". I, on the other hand, lied and said I lost it when I was 18, but in fact I was much older. The things is, I was a good girl in high school and when I went to college I gained a lot of weight and quite honestly, no one wanted to sleep with me. It wasn't until I lost weight and gained some confidence that guys found me attractive and I did really have sex for the first time. My lie did not hurt anyone but myself and I think I did it more to make myself feel "normal" if that makes sense. Looking back, I doubt anyone really cared about my sexual experience or lack of it.
If I have kept lies for others I have done it unintentionally or they hav been pretty harmless. I am pretty bad at keeping secrets so I am not sure anyone would intrust me with anything too major anyway :).
I don't think that makeup/pushup bras/etc are lies. They are simply working with what you have. It's not good when a woman feels forced to wear makeup/push up bras and such but as a woman, I am happy to have all the options. As a woman, we have the ability to reinvent ourselves for an evening. And men, even though they claim to like women natural, they are probably hitting on someone that is just good at putting on makeup so it doesn't look like she has any on or is wearing a bra that has subtle padding rather than a madonna-cone-boob number.
06.30.2008 Report
I lied about having an orgasm. What motivated me to tell this lie? Well, what my old roommate and I call "rubber chicken sex" where it's gone on so long, eventually it feels like you're doing it with one of those hokey rubber chickens. I figured if I lied and said I finished, it would be over- not realizing that a guy of twenty-two doesn't care if YOU'RE done- HE is going to keep going. If you lie and say you've finished, he just feels like more of a stud and thinks he's going to get you to round two. *sigh* I don't think there was a "payoff" for me- and I don't think I much looked him in the eye at all- Not from shame of telling the lie, I think I had my eyes closed, just pretending I was in the bahamas or something until it was over.
06.30.2008 Report
Ive always viewed theo whole Makeup/Pushup Bras/ Etc as lies. I dont like it when women misrepresent themselves, and I would prefer someone who enjoyed their own natural beauty. I blame the media, of course, for brainwashing young women into thinking they NEED makeup, when really, the dont.
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