Why do we fake who we really are? Many go through life confused and in a daze. Is this the way we should be or is this the way we are expected to be? In either case, here is my explanation of why we should be who we are … naturally. No pretense.
Who does it benefit to be who we are? It helps others to feel good about themselves in front of other people. Isn’t that being fake? Yes … to a certain extent. Many of us women take on roles from the time we are young playing with dolls or playing house or playing nurses or doctors or teachers. As we grow, we become the things either our parents wanted us to be or we fail. And then we perceive our selves as failures for a long time. Why do we hurt ourselves so much?
Why is it that we have set such high expectations of ourselves for the sake of what it appears to the rest of the world? Maybe it’s for our parents and siblings. I know my parents did the very best they could with what they experienced in their lives. I didn’t get the chance to talk to my mom before she passed in 1998. But even though she is not here I know she knows everything I have gone through and she is proud of me.
My dad is just my dad … we talk but not as much now that I have moved away. I know he loves me and wants only the best for me. I was not running away from anyone or anything, I was running to my future, as I look back now. Things happen to everyone everyday, what should matter is ourselves and what we think about our life.
Granted, parents do the best with what they can in raising their kids. No one is given a book on how to be the ideal parent; parenting is a hard job and one not to be entered lightly. I did the best I could with what was available to me at the time. I love all my children equally and uniquely because they are their own person. Thank God I realized this before I did too much damage … LOL (LOL equals Laughing Out Loud). The more I think about this (parenting and life), it does not only pertain to women, but men also. In my situation and in my life I was never told it is my choice. I was raised not to walk away from a relationship, because of the kids. To stay and take whatever is happening and bare it with as much grace as possible. I did my best.
So I just accepted what was happening in my life and went with the flow of things good or bad. And believe me when I say it got bad. I took the hard way out. I left when my son asked me, “Mom why do you stay with him?” That one sentence my son said made me realize how many mistakes I had made in life and theirs by staying. Out of the mouth of babes ... well, this babe was eighteen years old. I still remember when I told him my answer, I said, “Son, I stayed for you all.” And his response was, “Well now is your time to be free to live a good life. We are all grown and can take care of ourselves.” All I could do was cry. I was mostly crying I realize now for all the time I had wasted. And in hind sight that’s not such a bad thing because it is through those mistakes that has made me who I am today.
