Fat cow.
I would like to believe that most of the people I know wouldn’t dream of calling someone a fat cow. While I don’t know Oprah Winfrey personally, I believe that she also wouldn’t dream of calling someone a fat cow. She is a person who encourages people to be positive and feel good about themselves.
Yet in the January 2009 issue of O, Oprah makes the statement, “I felt like a fat cow.” This particular remark was made in regards to her feeling she had hit bottom when she wanted to stay home from a show as fun as one with Tina Turner and Cher in Las Vegas. She said she was supposed to stand between them onstage and wanted to disappear. She added that she was thinking to herself, “God help me now. How can I hide myself?” It is interesting that while many of us wouldn’t consider calling someone else a fat cow, we might easily take a verbal punch at ourselves and call ourselves a nasty name.
I went looking for photos of Oprah with Cher and Tina as I hadn’t seen the show. What I found was a photo of Oprah looking attractive as usual. She is wearing some sassy heels and a gorgeous dress. I even found a clip of Tina and Cher performing “Proud Mary” and at the end Oprah joins them on the stage. It was amazing to think that she actually thought she looked like a fat cow.
I actually felt disturbed by Oprah’s comments about herself. When I think of Oprah, my thoughts travel first to her amazing life story. I believe that Oprah has the following she does and is loved by thousands because of that life story. People love to see someone rise up from the bottom. She has succeeded in spite of being born to two young people who weren’t prepared to have a child. In spite of the poverty. In spite of being female and a minority. In spite of being molested as a young girl. In spite of working in a field that is very competitive. In spite of her weight.
I also think about all the good works Oprah does in the world. Her school in South Africa for girls and the Angel Network are just two examples. Oprah is an amazing woman who is extremely hard working and intelligent. It is thinking about these accomplishments that make it so sad to hear how she could be so reduced to focusing on the physical that she would feel like a fat cow. She also fell into the trap of comparing herself to others and in this case it was none other than Tina Turner and Cher. Oprah shared, “As I interviewed them, I was thinking, ‘Who’s the real older woman here? I am. They didn’t just sparkle; they glittered.’” I believe that many women, if put on the same stage with Cher and Tina Turner, would find themselves lacking if they began a comparison game.
Oprah also shared her recent struggles with some health issues, medications, and letting her life get out of balance, to the point she wasn’t making time for herself. She is honest about her frustration and how she began eating whatever she wanted. She says specifically, “My drug of choice is food. I use food for the same reasons an addict uses drugs: to comfort, to soothe, to ease stress.” I also took note of her sharing a comment made by her friend and author Marianne Williamson. Marianne said, “Your overweight self doesn’t stand before you craving food. She’s craving love.” Oprah added to that observation, “Falling off the wagon isn’t a food issue; it’s a love issue.”
Reading Oprah’s self disclosing article was also a powerful reminder to me about my own issues with my current weight. I, too, have felt embarrassed about my weight gain. I, too, have avoided gatherings, parties, photos, going to my old town with the fear of running into someone who would quickly notice how much weight I had gained. Like Oprah I also thought I had the weight thing all figured out and that the battle of the bulge was finally over once and for all. I worked out six to seven days a week for one to two hours for a good number of years. I watched what I ate all the time. It seemed like I could do that forever. It helped that I didn’t have a relationship or children. The two biggest portions of my life consisted of work and working out.
