Gone are the days when self-pampering was considered overly-indulgent, self-aggrandizing, or narcissistic, right? Well, if those days aren’t quite gone for you, hopefully they will be gone by the time you finish reading this post.
Here we go:
Many of us have been raised with what I call delusional thought patterns. These are any thoughts that prevent us from knowing and experiencing ourselves as the inherently beautiful, perfect, glorious beings that we are and always have been. These are the thoughts that make us think we shouldn’t pamper ourselves. Maybe we don’t quite deserve it; maybe we haven’t worked hard enough. Maybe we will do it after we have finished this project; perhaps after we take care of everyone else. Maybe then we will pamper ourselves …
Here are some of the stories you might be telling yourself:
“Pampering myself is too expensive.”
“I should be working instead of playing.”
“I should be taking care of the kids.”
“I don’t really need whatever I think I need.”
“I don’t deserve to give myself what I really want.”
“I should be exercising.”
“I should be doing something productive.”
Pampering, love, affection, adoration, as if any of this had anything to do with merit! It does not. You don’t deserve to be pampered because you have earned it any more than a baby deserves to be fed, clothed, and changed. Consider a baby—would you ever say “Okay, I am going to feed you because you have been a good baby.” You would consider this parent to be completely deluded. You feed a baby simply because that is what should be done when a baby is hungry.
And yet this is the way we think we should love ourselves—that love and pampering should somehow be based on merit. We think that somehow we should only pamper ourselves when we have done something to deserve it. Wrong! There is no deserving of pampering—there is simply love longing to be realized. In the same way you would feed a hungry baby, so too should you give yourself what you need and honor the brilliance that you are. Love and pampering should be given to yourself with unlimited abandon—joyously, endlessly.
