Way before the toddler was born when I was still (gasp) in my twenties I compared myself to others a lot. Maybe it’s a part of growing up. Maybe it’s a byproduct of insecurity. Maybe it’s just a natural thing to do as we try to define who we are as individuals.
I remember being at the beach asking the husband to size me up (literally) to other women at the bar. Was I thinner? Fatter? Uglier? Prettier? Everything superficial, of course. I’m not proud of this. Frankly, I can’t believe I’m confessing but it truly is a reflection of where I was at that time in my life. Self-conscious. Insecure. Unhappy.
Do I still do it? yeah… a little. I catch myself. I’m not going to lie. But now that I’m a little bit older. A little bit wiser and a Mom I tend to get over it and fast. I’ve learned in my (almost) thirty-three years that I am who I am. I can do what I can do. And that it’s all O … K …
I also have learned, mostly through observation, that everyone has their own issues, experiences, genes, talents, ideas, problems, motives, etc. and that those issues, experiences, genes, talents, ideas, problems, motives, etc. have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH ME.
My fellow geeks may know this quote …
Resistance is futile.
(Don’t know it, don’t worry some other geek will point out where it’s from in the comments I’m sure.)
I’d like to change it to
Comparison is futile.
We get no where when we compare. It’s pointless and can only serve to make us unhappy with ourselves, our bodies and our own achievements.
“Winners compare their achievements with their goals, while losers compare their achievements with those of other people”—Nido Qubein
That’s pretty powerful stuff. It puts a lot into perspective for me and I must admit, since I stopped comparing myself with others so much I’ve been able to set forth and achieve goals I never dreamed possible. I try to look internally for validation instead of externally and that’s made me a much more confident, secure, happy person.
What about you? Don’t leave me hanging out on a limb. Fess up. Are you guilty of comparing yourself to others?
Originally published on Roni
