Have you found that when you try to please others or fulfill their expectations for you, you end up resenting them? I have seen this happen a lot for myself as well as my clients. We think we are doing the “right” thing or what we “should” be doing and so we do it. Even though ever grain of our body tells us it’s not what we want to do. In the end, it usually ends up that our body was right and then we resent the person who we were trying to please. Most of the time, the person we are trying to please doesn’t even know we are doing this.
I found a great analogy to this from my amazing and very wise yoga teacher, Deb Burkman. Even though the inside of the room where we practice yoga is surrounded by mirrors, she asks us to try to not to look into them while practicing yoga. She says that yoga is meant to be an internal practice and not externally focused. Meaning, our practice is different from everyone else and everyday it is different. There shouldn’t be any expectations around it.
When she said that, I thought about the holidays and how much of them are spent trying to please others. Whether it be attending parties, finding the perfect gift, cooking, travelling, you name it. While there is such beauty is doing things for those you love there is also something about not stretching yourself to the point where you’ll resent the person for it. This message is for myself as much as it is for everyone reading it. Keep your eyes off of the mirrors and remember to give to yourself.
