While food can often be a good substitute for love and sex, it’s hard for me to accept being called the “sandwich” generation … you know, the ones still taking care of children and also caring for our own parents. Couldn’t we have a more glamorous name?
The kids get Gen X or Gen Y (OOH, I want to be Gen XXX … wait, I’m too old for that. I go to bed—not for sex, but for sleep—at 9 p.m.!) Even our parents get “The Greatest Generation” label—PLUS the best corporate retirement packages we’ll ever live to see! And we get to be the sandwich people? (And really, rarely, do I hear that applied to men … but that’s another rant.)
So I’ve been thinking, if fate has dealt us the role of bidirectional caretaking, and we are the Sandwich Generation, is there perhaps some special meaning we can claim for this moniker? What’s your special ingredient?
Perhaps you play the role of the cheese in your sandwich: wholesome. Good power source (i.e. protein). A reliable complement to more intense flavors/experiences. A soft place for old crusts to sink into. A sunshine- and storybook- colored pillow for younger ones to melt into when times are tough.
Or maybe you personify the pickle. Sharp notes and wake up calls to keep the aging active. “Don’t get stale!” you call out to the flat breads around you. Yellow lime greens and noisy crunches ordering, “WAKE UP, PAY ATTENTION, you Wonder Bread slices!”
Whether cheese or pickle, it seems that sandwich generation women are busy balancing out whatever is around. And adding to what is already there. Working with what is in place, making it more than it was, taking it a step further than it could go on its own. This is great and a wonderful thing to be and do.
But is it a wonderful thing to ASPIRE to? What happened to aspiring to being something great and wonderful on your own … not just adding to something or someone else? Is that what the woman’s movement was about? Aren’t we sandwich generation women also the generation of feminists who wanted to stand on our own?
And yet—caring about others is one of the very few characteristics that makes us special from other animal species. So maybe focusing on what we can add to others is a good way to measure one’s self and accomplishments after all.
