Single Girl Envy?

Single girl envy is the name for that feeling a girl gets when she’s in a relationship and suddenly she feels kind of . . . trapped. It’s not that you don’t like your boyfriend necessarily . . . it’s just that, you wish you could go out for a few drinks with the girls this weekend instead of to his parents house . . . again. And you kind of, sort of wish you could go over and speak to that uhhh-mazing looking guy by the bar. Except you don’t because that would be bad. Baddd girlfriend. And you suddenly seem to be the only girl around in a relationship, while all your friends are going out. Again. Without you. And if you’re anything like me, you will understand exactly what feeling I’m talking about!

It’s the opposite, if you like, of that feeling you get when your friend comes round to tell you that she’s going out with that guy she’s been drooling over, or that she and her ex number one million and fifty three just got back together. And suddenly you become the last of your friends to get a boyfriend or a serious relationship and no one wants to do anything this weekend because they’re going out with their boyfriends and are all excited and nervous and . . . and loved up, because they’re going to meet his parents for the first time. Because he wants them to meet his parents.

Most of us have experienced both of these non-too-rare experiences at some point, but I regret to tell you that I am most often girl number one. I am the best friend who calls round to tell you which guy I’m going out with this time. (I feel I should point out I don’t quite have one million and fifty three ex’s, even if it does sometimes feel like it!) and having been both of these people on countless occasions, I can tell you with certainty, that it’s all in your head. If you were single right now, you’d be feeling like girl two but because you’re not, you want to be. And there’s only one simple solution. Well, okay, there are two, but a friends with benefits arrangement probably isn’t the most sensible option and we know it!! And the only thing you can do (and it’s harder than it sounds—well of course it is!) is to live for yourself! When was the last time you tried that? Huh?

You see we spend our lives trying to impress others. Whether it’s your steady-but-getting-kind-of-boring boyfriend or whether it’s that uhhh-mazing-looking-but-probably-very-bad-for-you guy at the bar, and it messes with your head! Suddenly we forget who we’re trying to impress and why. We spend years trying to impress that first guy until we have him and then we want to impress guy two until we get him and it’s a vicious circle. So stop! Just live for yourself and you will impress the person you should be impressing without even having to think about it. Ok?!

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From Around the Web:
07.12.2011
Norah K.
The way i look at it is, do what makes you happy. If you aren't happy being in a relationship, not really, then it is not for you. a relationship should point towards the possibility of settling down, but if that isnt fathomable, then you shouldnt be in that relationship. Maybe i only have this "brilliant" outlook because i am "girl number two" right now...but i think that it is true non the less!
06.18.2011
Amy
Well, we've not been going out long (I'm not sure if we are talking about me specifically here or women in general) but I am not generally taken for granted. Besides, while there are elements of this article I can relate to (obviously - i wrote it!!) it was really just an article I read in a magazine that sparked my imagination :) Me and 'my man' are pretty happy :P all the best.
06.17.2011
John
Why must a lady be single in order to go out with the ladies once in a while? Who made up that rule? You know, if you DID go out (go away) once in a while, you would keep your man's interest in you fresh. Now if I am talking out of turn here, please forgive, but you ever notice how he seems to take you granted? Wanna know why? Because you you are ALWAYS there! If you are never gone, you never give him a reason to miss you, so he's going to take you for granted because, granted, there you are. Go out and prented to be single once in a while. (I didn't say "sleep around"!) You'll get your "fix", he'll chase you, and he'll probably stop taking you for granted, assuming he ever did. As an aside, you know, these "rules" you ladies create do more harm than good to a relationship. As far as impressing someone, all you HAVE to do is act like and BE a woman. A man will instictively be attracted to you, or YOUR man will instinctively be YOUR man and keep you as his woman. Take care.
It feels good to write.

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