I have not used a social networking site, messenger, chat room, or anything similar in years, and there are various reasons for this; namely, having an extremely jealous boyfriend. Well, things between EJBF and I are standing at the edge of a cliff, waiting for the cue to jump. In other words, things just aren’t working out and we are crashing and burning quickly.
Recently, an out-of-state friend of mine suggested starting my own Facebook page, which I have shied away from throughout its entire existence. But, I said, what the hell, who doesn’t have one at this point? So, I created the page, connected with people I haven’t seen in years, etc. And made an ... interesting … new “friend”.
His profile picture had been tampered with so that his face was virtually a blacked over pit of nothing (think ski mask, but not as revealing) and all you could see was his gorgeous long blonde hair and sun deprived complexion.
We got to talking, and kept talking … and within a few days we had both admitted there was a strong mutual attraction. Only, he is freshly eighteen, and I’m a twenty-four-year-old mother of a two-year-old. He hasn’t even finished high school! This kid is so intelligent, and amazingly even tempered and understanding, but am I insane for having such intense romantic feelings towards him? It’s confusing to say the least.
So far, things are a bit tenuous in that we have oddball schedules, and oh yes, he lives thousands of miles away. I feel like he might be worth sticking around and exposing my vulnerabilities and emotions to, yet in the same token I feel like I’m being unrealistic and keep sabotaging whatever it is we share. I’ve never met, seen, heard, touched or spoken to this ... dude … in my life. Yet I feel like it could be perfect. Then, I feel like it would be a disaster and I’m an idiot for even considering.
I just don’t know what to do.
