“You like whiskey?!” As the fellow sitting on the bar stool next to me said this, his eyes did another trip down the contours of my body, as if this new piece of information got me a second look. No harm in striking up conversation with a little observation or tid-bit–in fact, it’s a great tactic. But I could practically see him building a picture of who he thinks I am based off this one, inconsequential factoid, loading my preference of drink with all sorts of meanings and expectations.
I suspect he did this because I do the same all the time. Blame my over-active imagination. But he wore a newspaper boy hat and made a reference to When Harry Met Sally, and yet he turned out not to be the guy of my dreams? And I wonder why my expectations rarely coincide with reality.
This oh-so-scientific method of weeding out the potentials from the why-bothers is totally illogical, and yet sometimes we get lucky with our superficial indicators. (Or we continue the fantasy, ignoring who the person truly is for the approximation we’ve imagined.) And so we continue to stockpile a list of things we look for in a potential date. Almost always these indicators have nothing to do whether or not someone is dating potential or even a good person.
I’m reminded of the scene in 500 Days of Summer when the unrealistically wise pre-teen counsels her love-sick brother: “Just because she’s into the same weird shit you are, doesn’t make her your soul mate.” And yet he continues to fall for Summer, constructing a picture of who he fancies her to be out of ultimately meaningless characteristics. Sounds familiar.
Confession: I’ll probably think (at least for a split second) that you are my soul mate if you possess any of the following traits:
- You wear a stylish hat occasionally.
- You have knowledge of David Sedaris.
- You’re the oldest sibling.
- Or the youngest sibling.
- You’ve practiced the latest dance craze.
- You like Guinness.
- You can recite the lyrics of an obscure ’90s rap song.
- You could have a conversation about gender theory.
- You know how to order cocktails.
- You think San Francisco’s Tenderloin gets an unnecessarily bad rap.
- You carry pictures in your wallet.
- You visit bookstores just to browse.
- You strike up conversation on the bus, in a store, at a restaurant.
The list goes on.
So I’m curious. Am I the only one so easily seduced by a charming coincidence or something as superficial of alcohol preference? Do you have a list of characteristics that fool you into thinking you’ve found a match?
