So Demi and Ashton are finished. They hung in there for six years which is about four more than I thought they would. She’s sixteen years older than he is. I wish I had faith in these kinds of relationships, but I don’t. Not for marriage. I think she should have kept him for a Boy Toy for a year or two and then let it go. Marrying him made him think he was her equal … and he’s not. And, well, you see how he behaved once he got comfortable.
I’m all for dating younger men, but I think there should be a few rules.
For women, anybody more than ten years younger should probably be considered a fling … even a longish fling, but still a fling. Men and women are just too different. I don’t think guys do well, long-term, with a woman who’s much older. Of course, if you just want sex and some momentary fun then I don’t think there is such thing as “too young.” Okay, I take that back; I’m not Mary Kay Letourneau and I’m not trying to go to jail. Re-stated: if you just want sex and some momentary fun, than I think any age over eighteen is fine. Maybe twenty-one … or whatever the legal age is in your state … just to be safe.
But it really has to just be sex and some momentary fun and that really should be all you want. A grown woman cannot have a real relationship with a man half her age. Hulk Hogan’s ex-wife tried it. She, in her fifties, dated and was even engaged to a twenty-three-year-old. (He was nineteen when they started dating). It didn’t last. Celebrities don’t count, though, because they’re already not like us.
My rule, in general, has pretty much been fifteen years on either end, i.e., fifteen years older than me and fifteen years younger, giving me a range of men with an age spread of thirty years. (Lots to pick from). But you know what? This rule has changed from time to time because it depends on how old I am. When I was just a young thing, I sometimes went out with guys much, much older: me, twenty-six; him, sixty. (I know). I couldn’t have gone fifteen years younger because I’d then be writing this from my prison cell.
Now the reverse is true. I’m still willing to go fifteen years younger, but really only five to eight years older. A man who’s more than ten years older than me is kinda old. And I don’t apologize for that; guys are very open about preferring someone younger … and so am I!
If you want a serious relationship and really want him to be your man, and you’re a woman-of-a-certain age, I think anybody more than ten years younger than you are could be tricky. Y’all should at least both remember the original version of the same song; if you remember Diana Ross singing “I’m Coming Out,” and he only remembers Biggie and Puffy’s version that was sampled in “Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems”…then I think you could have a problem. It’s good to have the same cultural references.
Here are a few things to think about. Even though he’s younger, he should be old enough to:
- Have some of the same cultural reference points without you always having to explain
- Have worked long enough to have a career, not just a job. You should not be taking care of him, financially. He needs to have his own money.
