“I really felt a real connection with this guy and I’d go out with him again.” That’s Susan summing up a date she went on this past Sunday. It was one of two dates the 42-year-old physical trainer went on during her second week of match.com. Suffice to say – Week Two went much better than Week One, (yeech, I’m still having nightmares over Mr. Attractive)!
Week Two started out slowly. “I didn’t go to match.com as much this week as I did the first week. I needed a break. But, one night, I “winked” at seven guys to show interest. I got four winks back. To tell you the truth, it’s a weird feeling when they don’t wink back, but I’m trying to take my ego out of it. I know it’s not always about me.”
“I also talked to three guys I’d been emailing with on phone. Each time, within three minutes, I knew I had no interest in meeting them. Just got a bad vibe.”
“For example, during one phone call, I was multi-tasking. I was on the phone and cooking dinner because I had a short window before my next training session. He said, ‘Do you mind putting everything down and giving me your full attention?’ I said, ‘I kind of do. I have client in hour and I have to eat.’ It just felt like we were starting out on the wrong foot.”
“During another call, the guy whispered. He spoke so softly, as if he was trying to emphasize that he was very together and grounded. That was not my impression. I felt like he must have had bad energy. Couldn’t wait to get off the phone.”
The divorcee’s first date of the week was with a guy she wasn’t really very attracted to. “His photo wasn’t that great. But I liked some things about him and he sounded nice. I also know it’s possible to not, initially, be attracted to someone, but they grow on you and a physical attraction can develop. I thought I’d give it shot.”
Saturday night Susan and Date Number One met at sushi restaurant. “He was a lovely guy, just as he sounded, but the bottom line was that I was not attracted to him at all. At the end of the night, he walked me to my car and asked if I’d see him again. I felt uncomfortable being completely honest, so I said sure, but added that I’d just started match.com and I was going on a lot of dates. He called the next day, and I just won’t call him back.”
Her second date of the week, however, holds some promise. Susan says his photo didn’t bowl her over, but, for some inexplicable reason, she found it appealing. “I decided to wink at him and he winked back.”
Date number two, who we’ll call Mr. Computer, works at a website and has recently moved to L.A. from Sonoma, after divorcing his college sweetheart. He and Susan never talked on the phone. They corresponded throughout the week by email. Sunday, they met at Santa Monica’s Shutters for brunch. “We kind of connected. He seemed honest and normal and we have things in common. In person, just like in the photo, his look was appealing. He’s not terribly attractive. He’s thirty or so pounds over weight, but he's working on it and loves to work out. He’s forty-three years old and has no kids.”
Susan and Mr. Computer spent 4-1/2 hours together. When they finished brunch, they took walk along the beach and then sat and talked more. “He’s a very good conversationalist. When we were chatting, there was a lovely give and take in the conversation. He seemed genuinely interested in me and was a good listener. I was also attracted to his honesty. And, he was a gentleman in every way. I like that.”
When Susan mentioned that, after the date, she was going to a liquor store to pick out a bottle of wine for a friend, Mr. Computer, who is a wine connoisseur, offered to go to the store and help her select a good bottle. “I ended up buying three bottles of wine and so did he. His wine was more expensive than mine. After we got back in the car, he gave me one of his bottles, a rather pricey one, to enjoy with my friend that night. I thought it was so sweet and I loved that he did it in the car instead of in the store, where it would’ve seemed like a grand gesture. I honestly would not have taken the wine in the store. But just the way he did it, privately, made me feel like I could and should accept it. I surprised myself a bit when I gave him a kiss on the cheek.”
