I’m a thirty year old male, European (if that matters) and this is my first time around. Anyway, to the point:
I’ve been working in this same place for almost five years now. When I first got there, there was a young woman (she’s twenty-eight now) that caught my attention. Soon, I discovered that she was living with her boyfriend and they both had a young girl (some months old).
So, she was in a serious relationship and I moved on.
She always got my attention, but I tried not to show it. I knew I was attracted to her, but never thought about a possibility.
Those days, I was really committed with adventure sports and adrenaline stuff, such as: sport bike riding, MTB.
I wasn’t interested in a serious relationship, or I didn’t want to (I’m not saying it was because of her, but to be honest, I don’t know).
I just lived life day after day, without thinking about tomorrow.
Maybe, she didn’t knew how self-destructive I was, but I suspect that women can feel these things. I caught her looking at me (I wouldn’t say staring), but I believe that she had some interest, maybe because I was a little different, and at the same time she felt that I was too dangerous to be around (and possibly not trusty).
It didn’t matter!! She was in a relation anyway.
She became pregnant of her second girl (two years old now), had a growing family, so I kept moving …
I tried to avoid her, without being too obvious or rude. I was protecting myself. I didn’t know too much about her or her life, and didn’t (or did I?) care.
After some family health related situations (last three years), I started to slow down a bit. Earned a lot more respect for life in general and much more for my own in particular. I never mistreated anyone! Just liked to play dangerous games, too stupid dangerous sometimes …
Nowadays, I still am an active guy and don’t want to give up on this; just doesn’t take that much risk anymore. I feel more mature and finally I’ve started to look at myself as a Man.
About a year ago, I knew that they broke up. At first I (almost) didn’t care. I was playing safe about my feelings and was afraid that they could re-start, because of the children.
So, at first, I kept moving, although slower (thank God) than before. Then, I knew that the guy’s on another relation and my interest slowly reborn.
I know that they respect each other and share the children’s activities. Her ex-mother in law even keeps the girls (two times a week) for her to go to school at night.
The last few weeks, I’m much closer to her, I’ve been listening and asking and she always answered without irritation.
I invited her to go out (even with the girls, for a walk, or something like that), she laughed, but refused.
Said the girls won’t understand it. She’s a very protective mother. I don’t want to cause any kind of confusion. So, now, I don’t know how to get to her.
I don’t know how to show her, that I’m not “dangerous,” that I really care, that after all this time, I really believe that can be a future for us.
I’m not afraid of commitment, I’m not afraid of her situation (as an “almost single” mother of two), I just don’t want to scare her!
I believe that we can live happy and have fun …
I really enjoy to be with her and listening to what she says; and I believe that she knows my feelings, because I gave her some hints. I’m not very shy and I can talk to her about my feelings. She’s intelligent and polite and don’t want to hurt me too, I’m sure.
