I filed for divorce almost a year ago. Because my ex is a spiteful hating jerk, we are not officially divorced yet. I’m sure once he gets over losing the best thing that ever happened to him, he’ll stop delaying the signing of the divorce papers. But I digress. I felt it was time to move on with my life and start dating. Right off the bat, I met a wonderful man. Let’s call him Frenchie (because he’s French).
My friends and family marveled at my ability to snag such a great guy my first dating experience out of a twelve-year relationship. Frenchie was smart, had great taste in everything. He bought me a book on our third date, always took me to expensive restaurants with white tablecloths, and surprised me with tickets to a sold out REM concert. I wasn’t particularly thrilled with going to see a band where the lead singer is like, in his fifties, but ya know, I was expanding my music knowledge. And I swear I was the only black person there, but okay, anything for my French lover, right?
He spoiled me, and I adored him. We met for coffee in the middle of the day, he’d email me funny jokes, and we talked politics while sipping wine. I was in heaven. Until he disappeared. No phone call, no email, no text. I called. I emailed. I texted. Basically I stalked. Nothing. Finally there was an email. I excitedly clicked on it expecting apologies, dinner plans, an “I’ve been so stressed out at work, but now I realize how inconsiderate I’ve been” plea. What did I get, you wonder?
I got “I need time to think this through.” That’s what I got. Yep, that’s it. Shocking, huh? To me anyway. A girlfriend of mine who didn’t know my heart had been smashed to little pieces asked me, “How’s Frenchie doing?” My reply was a flood of tears and excuses about how he’s afraid of getting hurt again because of his divorce; how our relationship was so perfect that it probably freaked him out … you get the picture. My girlfriend’s reply? Yep, you guessed it: “Maybe he’s just not that into you.”
Let’s cut this sad story short. He’s just not that into me. (Read the book: He’s Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo.)
This is exactly the reason why I got divorced. My husband just wasn’t that into me anymore. So why would I waste time with someone else who isn’t just that into me? Why are you? Trust me; there are plenty of people willing to swim shark-infested waters to bring you a glass of lemonade (thanks Dr. Laura!). Why waste your incredible being on someone who won’t even call you?!
Moral of the story, ladies and gentlemen, is that you have a lot to offer. Isn’t it time you demand someone who is worthy of what an awesome person you are? You know you are. You treat the ones you love great; you should be treated great, too! You also know it was your exes’ issues with themselves, not you, that probably facilitated why they just weren’t that into you. You deserve the best! I deserve the best! Stop pining over that lost love and realize they weren’t good enough for you. And be honest—are you really all that into them now?
