While I haven’t had a serious relationship for what seems like forever now, it feels like everyone around me is either engaged, back from their honeymoon already, or are starting to have kids. Each time my group of twenty-somethings announce their joyful news I am reminded of two thoughts. First, when did we start to be “that group?” You know, that generation that has finally grown up and are marrying off, popping out children faster than you can say “Congratulations”? Where was I during our coming-of-age movement? Was I still sleeping past my alarm clock into the late afternoon?
“Why not me?” is usually followed thereafter. I’ve always been one driven by my education and career. Sure I want to get married and have kids with the white picket fence and dog just like every other little girl dreams. But something in my genetic code, I think, makes me different from all the other little girls. After years of sacrifice, I’ve gotten my education. I opened the door and stepped right in to my fabulous career. It was after I crossed the finish line when I began to think, Now what? I suddenly had more free time then I knew what to do with and an emptiness in my life. And that’s when my heart started longing for what I was missing most. Love.
So now, as I receive wedding invitations in the mail, buy gifts for showers, and try on dresses for parties and ceremonies, I can’t help but to think, When will it be my turn? I’m ready now. It’s usually followed by friends’ good ol’ standby advice of, “Don’t worry, it’ll happen for you. One day.” Okay, so when exactly will that day be so I can start to pencil it in? Because I’ve felt my clock start to tick.
There’s just one little problem. No boyfriend, no relationship, no nothing. I’ve gone on some dates here and there, but nothing substantial. I have no starting off point, nothing to build upon. I have to start fresh. Do I have the time to start fresh? It doesn’t seem so when everyone around me is already hundreds of steps passed me. I’m lagging behind at the starting line and they’re already halfway to the finish.
So yes, maybe my friends are right and I’ll finally have that one day they keep telling me about. (I’ll believe it when I see it.) But until then, I can still continue dreaming up my backup plan: becoming the dog lady (as opposed to the cat lady) who treats her dogs like children and is married to her job, right?
