I wanted to be always objective in every date or encounter with the male species. Whenever I go for dates, online or personal dating, there is always this goal of recognizing the signs and indicators of a potential partner. I believe that the way your date communicates (his words and actions) is a constructive reflection of his/her personality and ideals in life. Though, do not forget of award-winning actors and actresses for showing his/her best performance before and during the meeting.
As I tried to go out for a few dates (also online dating), I have discovered these points that really say a lot about your date (or potential partner):
Never fails to check you and how your day is progressing. There are quite courteous people out there, just like this guy I met. He would send me SMS or leave offline messages to make sure I start my day with his morning greetings or an inspiring message/poem to think about the whole day. That is quite sweet, considering the effort. For me, that is a big turn on, ladies! He is working overseas but despite a quite expensive rate for sending international SMS, he does it regularly. He even calls me a couple of times just to hear my voice!
This guy falls within my criterion of being thoughtful. He sends SMS when he wakes up in the morning (which is almost lunchtime in my country). Or calls me before I sleep just to wish me sweet dreams or ask how my day was. This act made me think that if a guy is really into you, he would reach you wherever you are in the globe. Moreover, he already scheduled to meet me when he comes to my country. He is sincere; I felt it. But sad to say, gals, I decided to stop our communication. Nothing is wrong, really. He is truly honest to me. He told me about his past mistakes, failed relationships, and assured me he has changed for good. That is something I appreciate about him, very much. I learned he is a father of four love children by four girls. He is just too “close” to ladies. His explanation: he had a major heartbreaking experience during those times that he engaged himself in many relationships to forget it. A big turn off! I am sorry, he just failed in my standard for a potential partner. Next, please.
You are included in his/her future plans. A man/woman who has true intentions would absolutely include you in his/her future plans. He/she would give perspectives as to how the future of you together would be: to own your dream house, invest in a business, and have children that the two of you could afford to raise. Wow! That is picture perfect; to add up, you could be head-over-heels in love with each other! A plus point, girls! But I am sorry to break this wishful scene: I had to end the wooing acts of this guy. He never finished even a year in college (though he is responsible and hardworking.); I struggled to finish my college degree.
Worst of all, he wanted me to stop working when we get married. I have nothing against plain housewives. (My mother is a plain housewife.) It is just I prefer to work, learn more things, and develop new skills. Of course, it would be my responsibility to serve my husband and together nurture our future children all the days of our lives. But, please, I need a break, too! Having a job that I enjoy and love to do is such an intellectual break. I want to grow and continuously learn which my future family could benefit from, too! Can’t he understand that? Forget it.
Believe in marriage. I was meeting this guy for less than three months. It was a period that I believe to be the getting-to-know-each-other stage. It was so exciting to learn one or two about him everyday. He smiles when he learned something about me and he promised to remember that fact(s) about me. I know there are still a lot of things about each other that we have to discover as days go on. But, hey! Barely three months together, is it too early to propose marriage? As he said, love is not defined by how long two individuals have been together. Yeah, maybe. But it does not grow overnight either, right? This guy popped up the three magic words the next day after our first meeting. I did not believe it, of course. I have my own definition of love and marriage. Oh, I felt he was just too desperate to have a girlfriend that moment (which I entertained), and now a wife (this is another story)! I need to move forward and plan my next goal in life. Settling down with this guy is not yet on the list.
Anyway, I guess I need to be more objective after all.
