Having recently come into a single life again, I am mystified. I was with one man, he was my only lover for fifteen years. I married young, had no chance or desire to be single when I met him, he had my heart. Fast forward to now, we are no longer together. That part of my life with him is over and I find myself at a loss, a total confusion on how to act as a single woman in my thirties, to try and compete with the single women in their twenties.
I am around men all the time, due to my profession. I am accomplished at the art of flirting and I am intelligent and witty. I do not consider the men I am around date material, more or less a code I live by; I do not date customers. I find myself surfing dating sites on the Web; I have profiles on several. However, the only hits I get on them are men in their fifties with almost all their teeth who think they are the ones I am looking for. It just baffles me, quite amusing at times and certainly very frustrating.
Then of course we have the young ones who think they are the best in the bedroom and I would be lucky to try them out. I have no desire to be labeled a cougar or a cradle robber. On the occasion, I did lose my morals for a couple hours I never heard back from them. I am not living in the 1950s, I am quite aware of one-night stands, I am even guilty of several; however, what makes me the most angry is the hidden agendas of most men. I have spare time when I am on the net, meeting, talking to different men I may find and perhaps interested in. I know the dangers of the net, I am aware of the anonymity of the Web; I utilize that anonymity myself at times. There are times, however, we might make a connection, and a little more honesty comes out. Then of course, honesty comes out of them as well, either married unhappily, or otherwise, attached or just not looking for anything serious. I can’t say I am looking for serious either, but I like to believe that it might happen again one day.
Therefore, my disillusioned state is still strongly in place and again lean on the old adage that “Good things will happen when we least expect it!”
Eventually I want to stop waiting …
